The Curvy FashionistaThe Curvy FashionistaThe Curvy Fashionista
Notification Show More
Aa
  • News
    News
    Looking the the latest plus size fashion and industry news around designers, influencers, and community happenings? Your plus size media publisher has you covered with…
    Show More
    Top News
    Duo Boots Giveaway on The Curvy Fashionista
    #TCFTurns5 Giveaway: Step into Style With the Duo Boots Giveaway!
    10 years ago
    Big Fig MattressXTCFStyle Expo
    Big Fig Mattress Giveaway!!!
    4 years ago
    Celebrating 200k FB Fans- It is a Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Simply Be!
    Celebrating 200k FB Fans- It is a Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Simply Be!
    10 years ago
    Latest News
    TCTurns15! Celebrate with Us with a City Chic Giveaway!
    2 months ago
    Felicity is back with her 5th Felicity Hayward x Playful Promises Collection!
    2 months ago
    TCFTurns15: We are Giving Away 15 Gift Cards in this Eloquii Giveaway!
    2 months ago
    Meet Keia Bounds, the Costume Designer Behind All THOSE Looks on “Survival of the Thickest”
    2 months ago
  • Style
    Style
    Yes, plus size style options exist and we are here to share the latest style finds, news, updates, and plus size style tips & tricks…
    Show More
    Top News
    Plus size woman Walking
    LETS TALK: Design Elements in Plus Size Clothes that KILL ME.
    11 years ago
    Duo Boots Giveaway on The Curvy Fashionista
    #TCFTurns5 Giveaway: Step into Style With the Duo Boots Giveaway!
    10 years ago
    Celebrating 200k FB Fans- It is a Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Simply Be!
    Celebrating 200k FB Fans- It is a Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Simply Be!
    10 years ago
    Latest News
    Before You Start Shopping for Fall, Check Out These 5 Fall Plus Size Shopping Tips!
    2 weeks ago
    The Nina Sharae Experience is dripping with sexy, plus size swimwear
    2 months ago
    Felicity is back with her 5th Felicity Hayward x Playful Promises Collection!
    2 months ago
    If You’re Still Looking for a Fun Plus Size Bathing Suit, Hilary Macmillan Swimwear Has Got You Covered!
    3 months ago
  • Shopping
    Shopping
    Wondering where to find specific plus size clothing items for that special occasion or need? The best plus size shopping finds are here. We’ve done…
    Show More
    Top News
    Plus size woman Walking
    LETS TALK: Design Elements in Plus Size Clothes that KILL ME.
    11 years ago
    Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Hips and Curves
    Celebrating 200k FB Fans- It is a Spring #TCFStyle Giveaway with Hips and Curves!
    10 years ago
    Valentine’s Day Curvy Couture Plus Size Lingerie Giveaway
    A Valentine’s Day Curvy Couture Plus Size Lingerie Giveaway
    10 years ago
    Latest News
    3 Plus Size Apps That Will Up Your Confidence
    4 days ago
    Felicity is back with her 5th Felicity Hayward x Playful Promises Collection!
    2 months ago
    Here’s Where to Find the Perfect Hats for Big Heads Big Hair for the Summer!
    2 months ago
    Steal the Spotlight in one of these 15 Must Have Plus Size Little Black Dresses for the Summer!
    3 months ago
  • Wellness
    Wellness
    Let’s talk about self-care, self-love, body image, and related topics to wellness and life as a plus size person!
    Show More
    Top News
    Torrid's Feature of Tiffany from On The Fatwalk
    The Enabling of Self Loathers and Shame – A Facebook Observation of Torrid
    12 years ago
    Rescue Stress relief
    Finding My Own Rescue Remedy & Taking Better Care of Myself…
    7 years ago
    Meeting my father and his/my family
    Staring into His Eyes for the First Time- Meeting my Father
    10 years ago
    Latest News
    Is Weed Yoga Really Worth It? We Tried it and Found Out!
    4 days ago
    5 Plus Size Pregnancy Myths To Watch Out For When You’re Expecting
    2 weeks ago
    The Labor Day Sales Our Plus Size Editors Are Shopping (And What They’re Looking For)
    4 weeks ago
    Behind the BMI: A History and Why The AMA is Discouraging its Use
    2 months ago
  • Lifestyle
    Lifestyle
    There is so much more to a plus size fashion lover and we are highlighting the various topics from plus size celebrity fashion and style,…
    Show More
    Top News
    Open Letter Tim Gunn
    An Open Letter: Dear Tim Gunn, Let’s Make It Work
    10 years ago
    2017 MTV Move & TV Awards, chrissy metz, plus size celebrity
    ‘I Wear What I Want, When I Want’: Chrissy Metz Slays In Red at the 2017 MTV Movie & TV Awards
    6 years ago
    25 women of color e1615188552216
    25 Women Of Color Who Paved The Way for Body Positivity & Plus Size Fashion
    3 years ago
    Latest News
    3 Plus Size Apps That Will Up Your Confidence
    4 days ago
    Is Weed Yoga Really Worth It? We Tried it and Found Out!
    4 days ago
    How Coco Chanel Helped Me Stay True to My Plus Size Self in Paris
    2 months ago
    6 Tips for Raising Children (and Yourself) in a Body Positive Environment
    2 months ago
  • Shop TCF
Search TCF
More
  • Events
    • TCFStyle Brunch Series
  • Curvy & Plus Size Fashion Resources
  • About The Curvy Fashionista
  • Advertising
  • Contact
© 2008- 2023 · by TCFStyle Media · All Rights Reserved ·
Reading: Feeling Sexy On That First Date and A Few First Date Tips!
Aa
The Curvy FashionistaThe Curvy Fashionista
  • News
  • Style
  • Shopping
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle
  • Shop TCF
Search TCF
  • About
  • News
  • Style
  • Shopping
  • Wellness
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Write for TCF
  • Contact
Sign In Sign In
Follow US
  • Login
  • Community Guidelines
  • Style Star Ambassadors
  • TCFStyle Influencer Network
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact
© 2008- 2021 · by TCFStyle Media · All Rights Reserved ·
Lifestyle

Feeling Sexy On That First Date and A Few First Date Tips!

Erika
Last updated: 06/02/2016
By Erika 7 Min Read
Share

Have you ever questioned how to tap into an inner sexy that will attract love for yourself or a lover for the long run? About a year and some change ago, I remember connecting with my now beloved, for our first date. I think we were both nervous and somewhat hesitant because there was some stop and go, at the beginning of our initial meeting. It was awkward but the desire to still be there was definitely present.

The one thing that my love tells me about that day is that I was so laid back and chill, pretty much the whole night. Let me tell you all that this is not my style, at all. I’m loud, a little clumsy at times, awkward (as I mentioned) and just really inquisitive. What was different here? I think I reached a coming of age milestone where I wasn’t willing to chase but I had a clear desire that I wanted to be wanted unquestionably and sought after. I wanted to relax into my feminine energy and allow love to come to me.

Obviously, the rest is history because here we are a year later making bold moves together and creating a life that feels passionate for us both. There were a few things that I did to prepare for my first date and I want you to try some or all of these tips and let me know what worked for you!

Here are my three core tips for the first date:

  1. Change Your Focus, Being Love instead of Getting Love
  2. Take Yourself On A Date Before The Date
  3. Be Solid On What You Want & Don’t Waver

Change Your Focus: Being Love instead of Getting Love

I cannot say it enough, you are love, you are light, you are grace. Your very existence is the essence of love. You’re not going out to get love from a source outside of yourself. That’s like water going to sand to get wet. You are already what you need. Relationships are about growth, partnership, creation and the only way that we can experience the pleasurable side of that is to know that we are coming in to be a force of powerful love.Rashida KhanBey

When you take the focus off ‘getting love’ and shift to ‘being love’ you magnify the vibration field around you and start to pull in the object of your attention effortlessly. The primary reason why we shift out of our essence is this draining experience of scarcity, we start thinking ‘I can never get what I want’, ‘They will never like me’, ‘There’s not enough good lovers out that’ so in order to meet the desire we act desperate which can lead to destructive connections because desperation kills discernment and intuition.

Take Yourself On A Date Before The Date

Shot by Photogrpaher Sanz Lenaic
Shot by Photogrpaher Sanz Lenaic

Let me be honest, I didn’t know if they would call me that night to confirm plans. I’m a Capricorn, I’m head strong, I’m a planner and my attitude was getting ready to set in when they didn’t respond when I wanted them to respond. So I made a decision to do something different, I took a long bath, I got beat and put on an outfit I loved and took myself to a movie that night. I stopped checking my phone every two mins, I stopped obsessing and I refocused my attention on my life.

And what happened?

I got the text and shortly after we were meeting up. You have to have a life of your own and love it. This simple step will keep you from creating a habit of putting your joy in someone else’s hands.

Finally, Be Solid On What You Want & Don’t Waver.

plus size model gigi marie shot by anderson

One of the biggest mistakes that I made in past relationships was not standing strong on my desires and values. I wanted a family one day, I wanted someone who was grounded in their faith who could fight with me on a spiritual level, I wanted someone who loved every inch of and embraced my beautiful temple, I wanted someone who wanted to build. The mistake I made is the same mistake I see other.women.making. We can be so strong on a desire that we have for ourselves but our will weakens when we get discouraged and we start.making exceptions when we should be walking away.

Now, there are some areas where we can be flexible of course but you have to have your core five (or three -the amount doesn’t matter) things that really reflect who you are and how you want to build your life. Don’t start trying to build with Jo when Jo made it clear that he wasn’t sure what he wanted and just wanted to explore his options. Take on a lover that tells you verbatim that they want YOU and they want to explore you.

The problem is that discouragement takes hold of our ego then the triggers start speaking louder than the desires. You have to get in front of the discouragement and reaffirm for yourself that the right lover is running towards you at a rapid speed and that you will have the love story you crave.

Alright my single curvy fashionistas that’s all for this week. I’ve prepared some more tips for you over on my blog this week. Join me over on my site for exclusive access to my mini e-course ‘Tap Into Your Inner Sexy & Watch Love Fall At Your Feet’. I’ll share more of my own story with you and offer up some spiritual tools for tapping into your inner sexy.

What do you do to feel sexy for that first date? What do you do to prepare? Do you have a few tips you can share? Let’s discuss below… 

TAGGED: body confidence, plus size dating, self esteem, self love
Share This Article
Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Email Copy Link Print
8 Comments 8 Comments
  • Sarah Taylor says:
    June 2, 2016 at 10:02 am

    This is really great! I know that I’ve personally taken a big step back on dating because my picker was really bad and I ended up settling with douche bags. I’ve been thinking of dating again but didn’t really know where to start or if I was ready – it’s been 4 years since my divorce and I think it’s about time. Thanks for sharing

    Reply
  • Nancy Henderson says:
    June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

    Thanks

    Reply
  • Luigikarluz Santos says:
    June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

    My friend.thanks

    Reply
  • Luigikarluz Santos says:
    June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am
    Reply
  • Brittany Glidden says:
    June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

    I never want to look sexy on a first date. That’s too dangerous as a woman.

    Reply
    • Tami Sparks says:
      June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

      You took the words right outta my mouth. Men will think you’re easy and try to get to second or third base.

      Reply
    • Brittany Glidden says:
      June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

      Yep.

      Reply
  • Brittany Glidden says:
    June 6, 2016 at 8:02 am

    That and this made me uncomfortable. Like all our worth as women is wrapped up in finding long term relationships or husbands.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest News

plus size light skinned woman with shoulder length brown hair looking at a phone holding a debit card
Fashion

3 Plus Size Apps That Will Up Your Confidence

You May Also Enjoy

plus size light skinned woman with shoulder length brown hair looking at a phone holding a debit card
Fashion

3 Plus Size Apps That Will Up Your Confidence

mightymurphin By mightymurphin
white plus size woman with hair braided back, matching teal yoga set, sitting on a yoga mat in meditation
Health and Fitness

Is Weed Yoga Really Worth It? We Tried it and Found Out!

Jillian Pfennig By Jillian Pfennig
plus size pregnancy myths - Image via @fatpositivefertility
Body Politics

5 Plus Size Pregnancy Myths To Watch Out For When You’re Expecting

mightymurphin By mightymurphin
Beauty

The Labor Day Sales Our Plus Size Editors Are Shopping (And What They’re Looking For)

Micah Gause By Micah Gause
BMI - @kathyharvey.rd
Body Politics

Behind the BMI: A History and Why The AMA is Discouraging its Use

mightymurphin By mightymurphin
Plus Size in Paris by Erin Zhurkin
Culture

How Coco Chanel Helped Me Stay True to My Plus Size Self in Paris

Guest Blogger By Guest Blogger
  • News
  • Style
  • Shopping
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle
  • Shop TCF
  • Events
  • Get Featured
  • Plus Size Resources
  • Privacy Policy
  • Disclosure Policy
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contribute
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
Instagram Facebook-f Twitter Pinterest Youtube
© 2008- 2023 · by TCFStyle Media · All Rights Reserved ·
The Curvy Fashionista Logo
Welcome Back!

Please Sign in to Your Account

Lost your password?