Itโs that time again. One year coming to a close, a fresh new year full of promise just days away.ย Itโs also that time when women everywhere are starting to plan their resolution.
โ2017 is the year, girl. THIS is the year where Iโm finally gonna do it. Iโm finally gonna get my s*&t together. Iโm finally gonna fix myself. New Year, new me.โ
We make our lists. Check them twice. Weโve already decided weโve been naughty. And this is how weโre gonna make up for it.
(hint: itโs not usually that nice).
Every year, I used to make my lists.ย From weight loss goals and plans like going to the gym 3 times per week or paying off X amount of debt.
Except by the time February rolled around, it would all go out the window, and Iโd quietly tear up my list and decide to try again next year. So many resolutions broken along with my self-confidence. And year after year, I still wouldnโt be any healthier or happier.
So why do we keep doing it? And why are they so hard to keep?
Some would say we all lack will-power, discipline, motivation, or that we donโt want it enough.ย
Or the most common one I hear is โIโm just so busyโ.
So why do we REALLY find a resolution or two so hard to stick to?ย
The problem is they donโt usually come from a very self-loving place.
ย
โTonightโs the last night I drink! Iโm taking a month off! No more empty calories.โ
โI ate so much over the holidays, you guys, seriously itโs so bad. But 2017 is a New Year right?โ
โI just got this new gym membership and I swear Iโm finally gonna whoop my ass into shape this year.โ
โIโm done spending my money on stupid crap, THIS year Iโm gonna get out of debt.โ
Did those sound like they came from a place of love?
Yeah, I didnโt think so either.
A resolution is usually something we think we should do to fit in or make others happy, and they usually come from feeling shame or feeling not good enough.ย
And queen Brene Brown tells us that change motivated by shame never works.
โIf we want meaningful, lasting change we need toโฆ call for an end to shame as tool for change.โ
Change needs to come from loving ourselves so much that weโre inspired to take better care of ourselves, not shaming ourselves because we believe thereโs something wrong with us.
Resolutions usually come from a place of being really hard on ourselves and focusing on whatโs not working.ย So we set ourselves up to make a lot of overwhelming changes all at once because we buy into this idea that THIS year things will be different.
But we canโt make real lasting changes in our lives unless we do it out of self-love.
The number one thing Iโve learned about self-love is that it doesnโt come when we lose those 20 pounds, it doesnโt come when we get another job, and it doesnโt come when we finally find a man (or woman!).ย
And it definitely doesnโt come when you fail yourself year after year.
It comes when you show up for yourself, and honor yourself, with love EVERY DAY, not just once a year.
So letโs stop setting ourselves up for failure, yeah? Instead of trying to shame yourself into change, bring in a dose of self-love everyday and see what magic happens.
The only resolution you need to make this year is to love yourself.ย
Here are the top 5 things you can do every day to love yourself this year.
- Be you, unapologetically. Stop worrying about what other people will think and just start doing you. Being inauthentic to avoid judgement or rejection erodes your sense of self. It might be scary at first. People might look at you funny. But the more brave you are to express yourself authentically, the more true to yourself youโll feel. And the more youโll find people in your life who love you for you, not for who youโre trying to be.
- Be like teflon. It can be too easy to let other peopleโs comments and behavior get to us. From moms to bosses to boyfriends. We use the little digs or completely innocent comments as evidence to beat ourselves up over.
- Collect evidence of your awesome. Most of the time we collect evidence of why we suck โ from our bodies to our careers weโre super hard on ourselves and we let other peopleโs comments and behavior get to us. Start collecting evidence that you are awesome! Write down compliments, successes, and accomplishments. Keep a running list on a chalk board or a journal and come back to it when you need to.ย
- Stop comparing yourself to others. From how your body looks to what kind of job you have to being single, comparing and despairing about where you are in life compared to others will only leave you in a slump.
- Start a daily gratitude practice. Every day make a list of all the things youโre grateful for. Even just start with three. Gratitude has a powerful way of helping you see whatโs working. And when you see whatโs working, you find love.ย
I promise if you do those five things, youโre gonna rock this New Year like never before.
Letโs make 2017 different.
Letโs make 2017 the year of self-love.
Do you have any tips or ways youโve learned to love yourself? Any certain resolution youโre going for? Put them in the comments! Iโd love to hear whatโs worked for you!ย
Hi Curvy Fashionista!
You gave the best advice ever! And you know what is so awesome about that is I came to those conclusions myself a few years back. God is amazing. You have to love who you are; itโs a requirement because people will always have to something negative or positive to say. And those opinions belong to them not you, so stop taking those apples and get your own.Self-love is the key that opens the happiness door and there is so much power in that room. ๐
In 2016 I liked to score with the under 25s, so would go out to what I called โkiddie clubsโ, and dance with the girls who looked like they used fake id to get in. Iโm 36, so for 2017 Iโm going to stop doing this. Wish me luck!
I love this blog. It reminds me Iโm a pillar of confidence those times I occasionally forget.
Fur Francesca Pleather Plus Size Jacket I like the fur along the hood.
love this! Yes, by February itโs like the resolutions never occurred. There has got to be a better way! and I am determined to find it, master it, and slay! Self love is the key in 2017 and a technique I use in demonstrating is making sure I make time for myself. We spend a lot of time spreading ourselves so thin and giving to others that we forget to make time for us and just relax. More of that in 2017, most definitely!