We are big proponents for self-care over here. Whether it is learning how to love on yourself, building your confidence, or a positive mental health. We talk about it. So, when we learned that plus blogger, Nicole Vick of Style Vicksen dropped a new book, Pushing Through, we had to feature her!
In Pushing Through, Nicole shares both the heartbreaking pain and the extraordinary triumphs that led her to advocacy and social justice work. Her book chronicles Nicole’s early years of self-doubt and discomfort in her own skin.
Through her book, we learn about how she perseveres through teen pregnancy, a health scare, and her struggle to attain the “ideal body.” Nicole channeled those painful moments of her life into prime opportunities for personal growth.
Nicole sought to find the light in every lesson. Through this, she’s learned how to connect, build, and create community. She also has nurtured her sense of purpose.
And today? We asked her to share a few tips on how she powered through.
In Trying Times, Here’s a Few Tips from Nicole Vick!
Look back to move forward
I have always been in love with the past. As a child I enjoyed visiting my maternal great grandparents’ house with old Ebony and Jet magazines and looking through my great grandmother’s old clothes, jewelry, and makeup.
There is a word in the Twi language of Ghana, “Sankofa”, that means “Go back and get it”. The word and the associated symbol (the sankofa bird) represent the need to reflect on the past to build a successful future. I firmly believe that my ability to “push through” all of the difficult situations in my life has a lot to do with the extended family that laid the foundation for my life.
I think often of my great grandparents and my grandparents and the beautiful legacy they left behind.
Take time to remember the people on whose shoulders you stand on. Also, make the effort to be someone else’s source of support and encouragement.
Love yourself the best way you can
I first became aware of my body in elementary school when my mother started giving me Slim Fast to help me lose weight. I was always chubby growing up and struggled with poor body image.
In high school, I drastically reduced my food intake and lost a lot of weight. I didn’t realize it then, but I was doing some major disordered eating. By the time I finished graduate school I had gained and lost a significant amount of weight with the help of various programs (Lindora, Weight Watchers, etc).
A couple of years later I had liposuction. I was trying to achieve the “ideal” body and was taking all sorts of drastic measures to do so.
It took a dramatic moment that ended with me throwing a my scale in the trash can to realize that I needed to learn to love myself for who I was instead of being angry with myself for who I wasn’t.
The journey to self-love can be so difficult but we owe it to ourselves to treat ourselves with grace and kindness.
Don’t sell yourself short
Often our inability to love ourselves manifests in our relationships with other people, both platonic and romantic. For years, I sold myself short and engaged in relationships with men who harmed me emotionally and even caused me serious health issues.
It took a very dramatic incident with a man I was dating (I got FIVE anonymous letters sent to my home) to force myself to look at the pattern I was stuck in and take steps toward shifting my perspective and learning to date again.
I had to learn that I was worthy; so that I could stop spending time trying to demand others to find value in me.
Create community and connections wherever you are
Its been amazing to see how we’ve been able to build community and stay connected. Especially during this time of COVID 19. It’s our nature to want to be social and nurture friendships and relationships with others.
This era or social distancing has taught us that creating community and connections is possible anytime and anywhere.
In 2017, I started blogging as Style Vicksen with the desire to help women learn to dress well on a budget. As an outgrowth of that blog, I have been able to create my own community.
Want to learn more?
You can score Nicole Vick’s Book, Pushing Through at Amazon.com!
Life is a bit uncertain right now. We are all learning to adjust, making pivots, and finding ways to celebrate the small things.
Did Nicole’s words help you rethink your approach to certain things?
Better yet, do you have any tips that you could share with us? That helped you navigate through your challenges?