We spend a lot of time here talking about self-worth, confidence, reflection, and giving ourselves grace. About choosing alignment over pressure and growth over perfection.
But here’s the thing. That work does not only belong to the reader. It belongs to me, too.
Before moving into this next season, I had to slow down, reflect, and apply the same lessons I share here so often. What follows is a personal check in, a moment of clarity, a reflection on what I’m carrying into the New Year, and a reminder that growth is something we practice together.
This year did not end quietly for me.
Between The Curvy Fashionista turning 17 and being recognized for work that started as a passion project and grew into something much bigger, I found myself reflecting in a way I had not before. Not from pressure. Not from urgency. From clarity.
I am not entering the new year trying to reinvent myself or prove anything.
I am entering it more grounded in who I am, clearer about what I want, and more intentional about what I carry with me and what I leave behind.
What 17 Years Taught Me About Growth
When I launched The Curvy Fashionista, I did not have a roadmap. I had conviction, curiosity, and a deep belief that plus size people deserved more representation, more access, and more respect.
Seventeen years later, that belief has not changed. What has changed is my understanding of growth.
Over the years, I’ve learned that growth does not always come from doing more. Sometimes it comes from stopping long enough to ask what actually still fits. What still feels aligned. What no longer serves the mission, the community, or my own well-being.
The longer I do this work, the clearer it becomes that sustainability is built through reflection, not constant expansion. Pausing is not a setback. It is often how clarity finally shows up.
That pause is where I am right now. Not stuck. Not unsure. Just intentional.
Leadership research supports this! According to Harvard Business Review, leaders who make space for reflection are more effective and more resilient over time.
Clarity
I’m carrying a deeper clarity than I’ve had in a long time.
Clarity about who I am. About who I want to be. About what no longer fits. And about what I am no longer willing to tolerate.
Coming out of what I can only describe as my phoenix rising from the ashes era, I feel more grounded in myself than ever before. The fire burned away expectations that were never mine, roles I had outgrown, and versions of myself that existed to survive instead of thrive.
Now that the ashes have settled and I’ve shaken off what no longer belongs to me, I have a better understanding of who I am at my core. What I want. What I do not want. What deserves my energy and what does not.
That personal clarity has reshaped how I lead, how I envision the future of TCF, and from that, the lessons and knowledge that help me to truly understand what I am and not carrying into the new year.
An Abundance Mindset
I’m also carrying a very real abundance mindset into this next chapter, and I want to be honest about how that shift actually happened.
For a long time, I moved like there was limited space. Limited opportunities. Limited chances to get it right. That scarcity shaped a lot of my earlier decisions, even when I did not realize it at the time.
What helped shift that was gratitude journaling.
Working through The Magic by Rhonda Byrne and its guided gratitude practices forced me to slow down and really dig in. Not surface-level affirmations, but honest reflection. Writing things out. Sitting with my thoughts. Reframing what I thought was missing and noticing what was already working.
When I started truly operating from a place of gratitude, something clicked. My mindset shifted from scarcity to possibility.
Did you know that research from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley shows gratitude journaling can improve emotional well-being, increase optimism, and help rewire how the brain processes stress and opportunity?
That practice changed how I show up. It completely rewired my thinking…
I now understand that abundance is not about doing more or saying yes to everything. It is about trusting that what is meant for me does not require exhaustion, overextension, or self-betrayal.
There is room for many voices in the plus size space. There is room for collaboration. There is room for shared success. And there is room for alignment over urgency.
A Healed Spirit and Mind
I feel more grounded in myself now. More present. More honest about what drains me and what fuels me.
A big part of that grounding has come from reconnecting with my faith and refocusing on what it really means to trust God and Spirit, not just when things are clear, but when they are still unfolding.
For a long time, I confused rest with stopping and trust with losing control. What I am learning now is that rest can be active and trust can be intentional.
Resting in Him has allowed me to release the pressure to have everything figured out. To stop forcing outcomes. To stop carrying things that were never mine to manage alone.
One verse that has guided me through this season is Proverbs 3:5–6, which reminds us to “trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean on our own understanding, and that when we acknowledge Him, He will direct our paths.”
That reminder has changed how I move, how I decide, and how I rest.
Forgiving Myself
This season has also required me to forgive myself.
For the childhood wounds I did not have the language for back then.
For the mistakes I made while trying to survive, not knowing what I did not know yet.
For the times I did not have the right tools, the right support, or the right perspective to make better decisions.
For a long time, I punished myself for those moments. I replayed them. Questioned them. Held onto guilt like it was proof that I cared enough or that I was holding myself accountable. I told myself that staying hard on myself was responsibility, when in reality, it was slowly making me sick.
What I am learning now is that growth does not come from self-punishment. It comes from understanding.
Understanding that I did the best I could with the information, emotional capacity, and resources I had at the time. Understanding that clarity often comes after experience, not before it. Understanding that shame does not sharpen wisdom. It clouds it.
And because I am a bit of a nerd and wanted to validate what I was feeling, I went looking for answers.
What I learned helped me release a lot of the guilt I had been carrying.
Research shared by the American Psychological Association shows that chronic self-blame and unresolved guilt are linked to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues over time. On the flip side, self-forgiveness is associated with greater emotional resilience and overall well-being. In other words, holding onto guilt does not make us stronger or more accountable. It makes us tired, sick, and stuck.
Forgiving myself has not meant excusing harm or avoiding responsibility. It has meant releasing the belief that I deserve to suffer forever for lessons I have already learned.
It has meant choosing compassion over cruelty. Healing over punishment. Growth over guilt.
And honestly, that forgiveness has been one of the most freeing parts of this entire process.
Goals That Feel New, Exciting, and Aligned
The goals I’m carrying into this next chapter feel different.
They are not rooted in proving anything. They are rooted in purpose. They feel expansive without being overwhelming and exciting without being heavy.
I’m clear about the kind of impact I want to make and the kind of work I want to pour my energy into. Work that serves the plus size community thoughtfully. Work that builds legacy, not just momentum.
If it does not align with who I am now, it does not get my yes. And that clarity feels powerful.
What I’m Leaving Behind
I’m leaving behind the belief that I have to do everything myself.
I’m leaving behind urgency disguised as importance.
I’m leaving behind the idea that rest has to be earned.
And listen, research backs this up. McKinsey shows that chronic urgency and burnout reduce creativity and long-term effectiveness.
That is not how I want to lead. And it is not how I want TCF to grow.
Where TCF Is Headed
With this clarity, I feel deeply aligned with where TCF is headed next.
We are here to elevate plus size voices, create thoughtful and intentional content, build real community, and advocate for better access and representation.
This work has always been about more than fashion. It has been about visibility, confidence, and showing up fully in the world.
That mission feels clearer than ever.
Moving Forward Together
As I step into the new year, I am not rushing the process.
I am trusting what I know now. Honoring what I have learned. Allowing growth to unfold without forcing it.
If you are in a season of clarity, healing, or redefining who you are and what you want, know this.
You are not behind.
You are becoming.
And there is room for you here.
A Question for You
As you step into the new year, what are you carrying forward and what are you ready to let go of?
