An article on Yahoo! about NBA cheerleader, Kelsey Williams, who was ridiculed by a CBS Sports female blogger for having a “thick middle” got my blood boiling. First of all, this chick can’t be more than a size 4 MAYBE a 6. Since WHEN is that considered fat? Second, she looks fine to me. Third, what’s it to you ma’am? I mean really. Why does her weight need to be topic of discussion? Obviously the NBA team she cheers for has no problem with it and she clearly is confident and has no problem with her body, so why ma’am do you?
Why must women constantly weight shame each other?
The Internet has made it far too easy for people to be bullies. We call them Internet Gangsters. Stop hiding behind your computer! The media, society and men do a fine enough job of telling women what they need to look like and try to make us feel bad when we don’t fit into their boxes. We as women should be uplifting one another and working to change these beauty standards, not putting each other down for being larger than a size 2.
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More and more these days people on their blogs and in mainstream media are weight shaming women. But, the thing that gets me, not that its ok at ANY size, but the women they are criticizing aren’t even big! Meghan McCain was chastised in 2009 for being too plus-sized to be a on MTV’s The Real World. Trainer to the stars Tracy Anderson spoke out against women who let their bodies go during pregnancy; and gorgeous supermodel Kate Upton was described has having “huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs [and] terrible body definition” by a blogger. And we all know how mean people have been to Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson during their pregnancies. I mean they are pregnant for goodness sakes. Let the them have cake!
Which leads me to the Plus Size Community…
This ugliness is NOT lost on the plus size community. If a brand uses a size 12 or 14 model, the attacks. If a blogger wears something out of the “norm” of what a “plus size woman should be wearing,” the attacks (remember Marie in that peplum belt?) get personal, nasty, and ugly. I’m just appalled at how critical we as women have become of other women and their bodies.
BUT, more importantly, WHY or WHO thinks it is okay to police each other, trying to keep us in a place where we aren’t even allowed to just BE? In all of our plus size glory? If you want to wear bold yellow, strapless, or head to toe polka dots, do it boo. Work. It. All. The. Way. Out. But most importantly,
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We must stop reflecting our own insecurities onto others
We must stop hiding behind the computer to say mean things; and we must learn to love ourselves and accept one another. If someone looks good in something you never thought to wear, more power to them, if someone wants to get down in a fit that is not your style, this is fine. If someone has the gall to rock out in an outfit that you had never thought of or had the confidence to wear, don’t knock them, embrace them. Now YOU CAN DISAGREE respectfully, but this post is not about THOSE comments and commentators, because a little dissension helps drive a conversation… but those mean spirited, nasty, and ugly comments?
Where do we draw the line? How do we work towards accepting the fact that every body is different, we come in all shapes and sizes and we all are beautiful in our own way.
Read the full article about weight shaming and the NBA cheerleader here
I’ll take that “fat” anyday, she looks amazing and at the end of the day she can dance, and people need to see some realistic bodies at these games. I mean this might make the difference in some young girl who isn’t tiny trying out for cheerleading and really enjoying it. I’ve seen Cheergirls large and doing it up. I wish people who chill out and except that everybody doesn’t have to be “lean and thin” to be goregous!
Interestingly enough, I was a cheerleader, that big girl you talk about! I was competing in college, doing my flips and tumbling, stunts, and so much more! Say it daring!!!
I have been bullied all my life for being fat, big, black, etc. You name it. I’ve been the butt of all jokes. In a country where being “white” is what’s considered “beautiful”, you ask, how do I deal? I do not retaliate in any way. I never did care what others say about me. I went on to finish med school and become a doctor, plus I surrounded myself with people who are different, who are open-minded movers and shakers, who believes that beauty is in the rare, the odd, the unconventional. I have earned respect from people I never thought would care. I’ve been blessed in more ways to have fashion designers and photographers as friends who are open to the idea of having a full-figured, strong-willed, independent woman to represent diversity despite media’s harsh dictatorship. At this moment I am an Filipino-African American doctor who is also a plus-size model in the Angeles City, Philippines. Cheers to curves!
I love this! Thank you sooo much @anna_noel:disqus for such encouraging words and for bucking those who said you couldnt do it!
I just try to focus on the positive things. I have been overweight and very tall all my life. Most important thing is to react when someone says bad things about you. Don’t stay silent, react, confront them! Be proud of who you are!
There you go Tanja! 😀
ugly is as ugly does.
Hahahahah, yes ma’am.
I’m so sick of stuff like this. Weight shaming is everywhere, and girls can be so cruel, especially to each other. To the point where a bigger girl out jogging is likely to get stared at or even heckled, and if you dare wear anything above the knee or tight fitting someone’s going to find a problem with it. I am not just my body. How I look does not define me.
As someone who has always struggled with her weight and self image, I know it’s important that we all support one another. That next mean comment you make could be the breaking point. I am not always the sweetest peach around, but I know that a woman’s weight is not something I should be discussing, unless it’s my own and even then, self deprecation is so unbecoming.
I really needed to read this today. It’s taken me a long time to be happy and comfortable with my weight–but alas, I am! Just this weekend I had a guy come up and apologize to me for making a comment about another “big girl” in front of me in case it made me uncomfortable. My response to him was that what he says doesn’t offend me because I’m comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. What I SHOULD have said to him is “why make the comment at all? Let her work it!”.
Like you said, it’s just insecurity. A woman who is down on herself about her face/hips/arms/whatever can look at another woman and say, “…But at least I’m not fat”. Being pretty overall doesn’t count for the plus sized because the compliment tends to be “You’re pretty for a big girl”. It’s a hard lesson to learn these days because there’s so much media pressure & body snarking, but everyone deserves to feel comfortable & proud & sexy in their bodies! I want to teach my little girl what I observed from my mother: beauty is not a finite resource, and male attention doesn’t define your worth.
P.S. Funny how everyone’s okay with the fact that we’re free to kill ourselves with alcohol & cigarettes but heaven forbid someone have the nerve to be fat & happy. Kinda blows your mind.