Dear Marie,
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Love your blog, love your style, and I could use some help. I feel like I don’t know how to dress myself. I’ve been through a lot in the last few years (illness, family issues, lost job, and fluctuating weight). In sizes, I hover between an 18/20 and a 24. I’m most comfortable in jeans and a hoodie, but I’m really just hiding myself. I feel like a bum half the time.
The thing is, I have good curves. My boyfriend goes crazy about my hips, and I have pretty much an hourglass shape. But I have no idea what to put on it! Going clothes shopping can be very discouraging, and at this point, I’m sort of at a loss. Any ideas or suggestions?
I’m on the East Coast, not far from New York, so if there are any stores you know of that I should check out, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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Thanks so much for reading this. And thank you for what you write. I wish I had someone like you around when I was growing up.
Have a beautiful day!
Melissa
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Hello Melissa!
First and foremost, thank you for your note Melissa!! Life and life’s changes definitely have its own way of affecting us in life, romance, and how we present or perceive ourselves. This is something that I am struggling with right now, too! Too help you along (and for those who are reading) I have tried to break it down in doable steps here to help you on your fabulous way!
From what I gather, you are looking to find your personal style and to feel put together? Correct? You are quite blessed that you have a constant and consistent positive encourager in your corner over there in your boyfriend. GREAT!!! I love that you share that you have “good curves” which leads me to believe that you have some sort of fabulous confidence! Am I right?
Okay, as far as your questions you asked, I have a few suggestions:
- Continue to go out and try on clothes. Whether it is Forever 21 or Nordstrom, continue to go out and try on items to see and learn how you feel in different items!
- Once you have them on, stare at yourself. Grab your bum, run your hands on your body in these new silhouettes. The key here is to familiarize yourself with your body in NEW clothes.
- Find an item that makes you smile in the mirror and BUY IT. Dont think about where or why… BUY it and then WEAR IT!
- Let your boo suggest or buy you what he would love to see you in, this way you can have some extra pep in your step as you know your boo loves your curves in XX.
- Baby steps. Lasting change will take time and will not happen overnight, but this is a first step.
Learning to love your body and its amazingness is a constant thing. Even I battle with this too. I have certain parts I love, others I wish away or different, but even as i stare at myself in my bra and panties, I search for things I do like and then want to play up. I love my legs, so you will many times find me in short skirts and shorts! My midsection I am not the greatest fan of, so I do not wear tops that cut my there or I will wear items that pull away from that!
It is all about experimenting and having fun. Slowly and surely your personality will reflect your style!!
As far as WHERE to shop in store for Plus Size Fashion?
Well, the fact that you have already started to search and have landed here, HEY GIRL HEYYYYY! Great first step! I have this page that has all these amazing plus size posts, so start here! Then, I invite you to check out my list of plus size designers and retailers and then, once you have checked that one out, make sure you see the plus size boutiques directory to see which stores are closest to you!
But, off the top of my head, in-store options do exist, especially in the US and on the east coast where you are at! While selection will vary greatly from store to store, you have:
Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s, Nordstroms, Forever 21, Fashion to Figure, Torrid, Ashley Stewart, Lane Bryant, Wet Seal, H&M, LeeLee’s Valise, Curvaceous K Boutique, and I could possibly be missing some! But please do click the blue links above this paragraph for my directories!
I really do hope this helps and I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you so much for reaching out to me and I wish you luck on this!
WOW!!! This is my letter!!! Thank you so much for your response, I’m going to take your suggestions (and any others that the lovely readers of your blog post up). I do have some confidence, but I really needed a boost, and I think this is exactly what will help. Thanks, Marie!
Oh honey!!! It is my pleasure and thank you for your email! XOXOXOXO I hope with my answers and the ones below that you find a few tips to play in and with! Good Luck!!!
You can also keep your eye out for a sales person in the plus size departments that seems to have a good sense of style. You can let them dress you up so to speak. Or, if you have a friend who’s style you admire. Don’t let yourself get frustrated if the first thing you try on doesn’t flatter you. Shopping is a lot about what doesn’t work too. Now, I can hold up an item of clothing and look at the cut and tell what’s worth trying on and what’s not. It gets easier with practice! It can really become fun to play dress up. 🙂
YES. OMG I completely forgot about that! Thank you so much for the help!
This post, here!
Torrid in my area is notorious for having sales women who are more than eager to offer opinions/help, and sometimes that leads to other customers to encourage whoever is being assisted. It’s like a chain of assistance.
And as for the friend whose style you admire: That’s what my friends do. They’re mostly super-casual types as well, so when they want to go shopping for something more stylish, they often recruit me to help since my ideas of “casual” could be considered “dressy” to others. : P
Dresses are awesome for a curvy body- a shift or a loose fitting one with a belt at natural waist looks awesome, and is so comfy. Those fit and flare dresses are really cozy and look fabulous as well.
Thank you so much for sharing!!! I do love a great dress- YES. I do!!! 🙂
Hey Melissa, more recently I have did online shopping at Old Navy, H&M and Torrid(mostly shoes). If you want some original styles you can try Etsy, I found JIBRI and I think Zellieforshe there.
One thing I’ve added to my room is a full length mirror it has been very encouraging! Happy shopping sunshine!
If you do get to New York, LeeLee’s Valise is fantastic. The clothes aren’t cheap, but they are so helpful there.
Also, the Lane Bryant in the Fulton Street Mall in Brooklyn (just off the Jay Street/Borough Hall stop on most subway lines) has a clearance ROOM on the second floor, not just a rack or two. I think a lot of the area’s clearance stuff comes through there. Macy’s Herald Square has a really good plus department, as does Bloomingdale’s.
For lingerie, hit the Town Shop on Broadway around 86th or Orchard Corset (not open Saturdays) on Orchard Street near Rivington on the Lower East Side. Both do amazing fittings and specialize in hard-to-find sizes, though Orchard Corset is probably not what you expect.
Sadly, Re/Dress NYC, a fabulous plus-size vintage and resale shop, closed a few years ago, but they have an online presence and a physical store in Cleveland, I think. Monif C. has a boutique in Manhattan, on W. 38th between 8th and 9th.