Our “My Curves, My Journey” series was created as a way for us women to share our journey into finding ourselves. As we are on this journey of personal growth and learning to better love ourselves, I felt the need to create a space for our community to share those stories. Depending on where we are in our individual journeys we may just need to hear someone else’s story to help us move our along and so with this series I hope to encourage us to share with each other.
What has been one of your most pivotal moments on your journey to loving yourself and owning who you are? Can you remember what that felt like? Join us every week as we learn about each other’s journeys to self-love.
My Curves, My Journey: The Woman in the Mirror
Michelle Y. Talbert
When I was 13 I barely knew my body and it was invaded. Sometimes I felt I’d given it to him because I put myself in harm’s way; but I knew better. He took my body before I even got to know it.
Now, in my late 40’s, I wonder what did my hips look like before they were widened by pregnancy in preparation for childbirth? Were my breasts ever perky? Was my stomach ever flat? I long to know my body…before… it was lost to me before I even knew it. What was it like before he took it? Before my children took up residence in my womb?
I remember in my 20’s and 30’s, how I never really saw myself in the mirror. I often brushed my teeth and showered without turning the bathroom light on. After dressing for work I would use the mirror to comb my hair, never letting my gaze fall below my chin—there was no need. There was nothing to see there. Or, more accurately, there was too much to see there. My body had been buried beneath 50 pounds of excess weight…but that was then.
I am strong now…I am in control and no one, not him nor anyone else can have my body without my giving it freely or kicking his ass if they try to take it.
I’ve grown to love my body, with its womanly curves and be-dimpled ass and thighs. These days I work out and eat right. Heck, at 39, as my more than ample breasts tested the limits of the new support technology espoused by my sports bra company, I even crossed the finish line of my first triathlon.
I often hear women lamenting the effects of gravity and life and wishing for the bodies they had in high school, that concept is foreign to me.
But every now and then, standing before the mirror. As the steam dissipates in the bathroom after my shower, while my skin is damp and dewy, just before I lovingly massage it with Palmer’s Cocoa Oil, I wonder what my body used to look like…before.
Thank you Michelle for sharing and being so open about your journey & where you are!
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