The Curvy Confidence Coach It’s hot in LA (and in so many other places) so you know what that means… it’s bikini season… or bathing suit season! Or hide in my house with AC, because I just can’t face the beach or the pool season. Girl. I soooooooo get it.
I spent a lot of years dreading this time of year. Feeling like a failure for still not having the body I thought I should. And either avoiding the beach days and the pool parties, or just feeling really awkward and uncomfortable in my body if I did go. Covering up as much as I could so no one would see what was really going on.
All that got me was missing out on actually enjoying life. But all that’s changed. I just got back from 10 glorious days living 2 blocks from the beach in beautiful La Jolla, CA and I basically lived in my bikini. I learned two things while I was there I wanted to share with you.
Bravely Bare Your Belly, Booty, & Body Hair in a Bikini
- It really is possible to overcome the fear and feel totally embodied in self love and self confidence in a bikini after spending more than 20 decades literally terrified of doing so.
- If I’m gonna play in the waves, my DDD’s need a WAY more supportive top 😉
But seriously. There was a time I NEVER would have let me body be seen in a bikini, especially not at this size/weight. Looking at these pictures, I know I would have hated my flabby arms, big tummy, chunky thighs, back fat, and the fact that I hadn’t shaved or waxed my bikini area. And literally none of it bothered me.
I did hear the old voice. That’s how I know what she would have said. But the best way to describe it is that she’s way off in the distance, almost like a faint memory, but another stronger voice, you could call it my higher self, the confident me I am today, immediately chimed in with self-love. “Awww, hey girl. none of that matters and you know it. I love you.”
I promise you it’s possible. If I could overcome body shame in my curves, I’m positive anyone can.
So I’m on a mission to inspire women everywhere to say eff your beauty standards, find the courage, and wear the bikini.
Why? Because the bikini for so many women is a symbol of the unattainable. The thing you can only wear once you have the perfect body. But what if you didn’t have to wait?
And what if, by wearing the one thing that you – a curvy woman with a belly, or back-fat, or who has sagging boobs, or stretch marks, or cellulite – should not be supposed to wear, what if you gain the courage to do all of the other things you’re not “supposed” to do too? That’s what this is about.
I believe when we, as women both curvy and otherwise, can take back the beach, we can embody the confidence we need to take back the world. This is about empowerment, my loves, and giving a big old eff you to the people who want to keep us small.
Since last year, I’ve been running a workshop in LA, called The Bikini Breakthrough Experience that combines a women’s circle, 1:1 Body Love coaching, and a photoshoot with my co-creator and bff, curvy photographer, Edrea Lara.
Check out these bombshells owning it.
You might even recognize Cathleen Meredith and her Fat Girls Dance Crew who braved the cold January LA weather to do a private workshop with us earlier this year! This year we took it online and launched the Wear the Bikini Challenge – a 7 day challenge to help inspire you to wear the bikini.
Own It!
Do you have to wear a bikini? No. Of course not. But if you feel brave enough to give it a shot, you just might feel like you could take on the world after! And that’s what this is about. No more shrinking or dimming your light. You are a beautiful woman who deserves to take up space on the beach and in this world. And I want to help you do it. Will you join us?
The official challenge is over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t join us in gaining and owning your confidence in a bikini! We still have some summer left! So take the challenge and if you post a picture on social media this summer, I would LOVE if you would tag me and use the hashtag #wearthebikini and #takebackthebeach so I can re-post and share your picture to inspire more women to do the same.
All my love to you, courageous curvy darlings!
Natalie
Love the article but I’m gonna say no to visible pubic hair on the beach, thank you!
Thank you Melonie. There has to be some boundaries.
Belly and booty yeay! Not so much the body hair…
Agreed. Some things border on trifling. We want to be beautiful with our full figures, not gross and nasty. IJS.
Hi ladies! So glad you enjoyed the article. I’m curious that you think there’s a difference between shaming full figures and shaming body hair? When I asked the women in my network what was stopping them from going to the beach and wearing whatever they want, shame around body hair was just as prevalent as the belief that they had to lose weight first. Body hair is a natural thing for us women. Those of us who chose to honor our body hair as it is, that is no different than honoring our rolls and curves. What boundaries do you think there should be on self-expression and loving ourselves? I don’t believe there should be any. That’s why we have rampant body image issues, rampant eating disorders, and too many women everywhere stopping themselves from living fully expressed lives.
body hair?
Yup! This is something many women feel incredibly ashamed about and I don’t believe its any less important to the conversation of body positivity than loving our curves.
I have not hit the age in society where you can show off your rolls and thunder thighs, without looks and laughter.
I’m waiting for that age.
Till then, it’s a one piece and swim trunks, and/or a shirt.
There’s no age. There will always be rude pricks out there ready to make fun of people doing their thing.
Definitely is an age. Believe me. I’m old and don’t give a rat.
Huh? Nobody ever laughs at me. I never see anyone laughing at anyone. It’s in your head.
Just own it
I’m all for getting society to back off; But you can’t FORCE people to like their bodies.
I don’t, never will.
If I were just plain ol fat maybe.
I could live with that, I already do. I accept it, and no longer hate myself for it.
But my body betrayed me in more ways than just fat retention. I have had… complications.
I have scars, I have discoloration, I have ugliness. So the two combined, are insurmountable. It’s just too much for me.
And to be honest.
The feeling I get when people are trying to force me to be comfortable with something I’m not, isn’t any different than the feelings I get when people are trying to force and shame me about being big. js
I don’t need a pep talk, ladies. Thanks but no thanks. I’m finally at a comfortable place with myself, rolls and all, doesn’t mean I need to go and prove to the world I’m ok with it.
I also don’t need rude comments concerning… my mental faculties?
She can just go stuff it.
I’m with you. I’m all for people wearing what they want and feeling comfortable with themselves, but not all of us are, and all of this “body positivity” only serves to help make those of us who won’t “dare to bare” feel like we’re somehow failures.
No, not everyone is beautiful, and that’s ok, too (or at least it should be).
Sorry but I don’t think sticking up your middle finger to flip off the haters look very good on anyone. Be gracious not hateful like those who hate on us.
No to the body hair tho. Ijs
Oh looook, everybody’s simultaneously flipping the bird. How original and classy! Smh
I am ready for the beach…. just got my new swimsuit and I looooove it!
But no body hair!
Beautiful ladies
Everyone should wear what they are comfortable wearing, I personally think a bikini is the equivalent of a speedo. just something to think about.
Will never be a bikini person in a plus size body myself but I forever love seeing women do it of every size and shape! Fat positivity and size positivity and body positivity!!
Do your thing. But, i will be wearing my swim dress lol
Love it wish i were younger.