What starts as a comedy show about unsolicited dick pics quickly becomes a conversation about plus size dating, desirability, self-worth and the experiences many women know all too well.
During our conversation, comedian Cara Meyers shared the dating lessons, frustrations and observations that inspired her latest show.
A comedy show about unsolicited d*ck pics isn’t exactly everyone’s idea of a fun night out.
Just ask the audience member who recently told comedian Cara Meyers he loved her performance but felt deeply uncomfortable with the premise. Considering the show is called Show Me Your D*ck: A Lifetime of Dating in a Larger Body, that’s probably not the shocking revelation he thought it was.
Meyers did not miss a beat.
“Great. Imagine how I feel every day.”
Honestly? Fair.
The show, Show Me Your D*ck: A Lifetime of Dating in a Larger Body, is currently part of the Hollywood Fringe Festival. While the title grabs attention, the stories behind it reveal something much bigger than awkward dating experiences and unsolicited photos.
During our conversation, what stood out most wasn’t the comedy.
It was how often our discussion returned to a topic plus size women know intimately: the difference between being desired and being respected.
Because despite all the progress we’ve made around body acceptance, dating as a plus size woman can still feel like navigating a completely different set of rules.
And Meyers is no longer interested in pretending otherwise.
The First Unsolicited D*ck Pic Arrived in Seventh Grade
Long before dating apps became a fixture of modern romance, Meyers was already dealing with unwanted sexual attention.
She received her first unsolicited d*ck pic in seventh grade. The revelation immediately stopped me in my tracks.
For many women, receiving an inappropriate message online is unfortunately familiar territory. What makes Meyers’ experience particularly interesting is how often those interactions seemed connected to her body size.
As she began developing the show, she spent time revisiting years of messages, dating experiences and encounters with men online.
What emerged was a pattern she could no longer ignore.
“You’re mad that you’re attracted to me because society says that being fat is bad, but you are inherently attracted to fat women,” Meyers explained.
The statement gets right to the heart of a conversation many plus size women have been having for years.
Society frequently sends conflicting messages about attraction. On one hand, plus size women are often told they exist outside traditional beauty standards.
On the other hand, many women know firsthand that attraction doesn’t always align with those cultural narratives.
The disconnect can create some bizarre dating experiences.
Women are desired privately but not always respected publicly.
They’re pursued while simultaneously being treated as though they should be grateful for attention.
For Meyers, those contradictions became impossible to ignore.
The Dating App Conversation We Need to Have
At some point during our interview, we started talking about dating apps.
The collective exhaustion was immediate. Meyers is currently taking a break from them.
Frankly, it’s hard to blame her.
Like many plus size women, she’s encountered her share of men who seem incapable of having a normal conversation.
One of the most frustrating examples?
Men who proudly announce they’ve “never been with a bigger girl before” as though they’ve just delivered the romantic line of the century.
It is not the compliment some people think it is.
Meyers laughed as she recalled hearing versions of that statement over the years.
“I’ve been the first before and it’s not fun,” she said.
What makes comments like these so frustrating is that they immediately reduce a woman to an experience rather than a person.
The conversation instantly becomes centered on body size.
That theme surfaced repeatedly throughout our interview.
“I am a human being. I’m a regular person and I should be treated like one,” Meyers said.
A statement that should not feel revolutionary. Yet, here we are, still spoon-feeding reality to adults cosplaying as emotionally mature individuals.
The Green Flag Answer That Stopped Me Cold
I’ve interviewed a lot of people.
Very few answers have made me immediately put my notebook down.
This one did.
When I asked Meyers about the biggest green flag someone can have in dating, she didn’t mention any of the big three: communication skills, ambition, or emotional intelligence.
Instead, she asked a question.
“Do you treat women you are not attracted to like human beings?”
Whew.
Because that answer tells you everything.
The Oscars might need to create a new category for some of these performances. The way people will reinvent their entire personality to get what they want is genuinely impressive.
Character shows up when there is nothing to gain.
The way someone treats women they aren’t attracted to, service workers, strangers and friends often reveals more than any carefully crafted dating profile ever could.
Meyers pointed out that many men struggle with this.
“If they don’t want to sleep with you, you mean nothing to them,” she said.
And that reality extends far beyond dating apps.
It shapes workplace interactions. Friendships. Social environments.
The way women are valued in general.
Which is exactly why her answer lingered long after our conversation ended.
Modern Dating Is Exhausting and Nobody Can Convince Me Otherwise
The older I get, the more convinced I am that everyone is tired.
Meyers seems to agree.
When the conversation shifted toward modern dating culture, we found ourselves discussing situationships, talking stages and rosters.
Or, as some people call it, chaos.
“If we like each other, can we just like each other?” Meyers said.
Simple.
Direct.
And apparently controversial.
One thing she doesn’t understand is how people manage to date six people at once.
Personally, neither do I.
Keeping track of one person’s favorite restaurant is enough work.
Six sounds like a full-time administrative position.
Meyers joked that if everyone involved knows what’s happening, go for it.
The problem starts when honesty disappears.
The conversation eventually turned toward emotional labor, another topic that sparked immediate recognition.
Many women know the experience of sitting down for a casual date only to become an unpaid therapist thirty minutes later.
One minute you’re discussing television shows.
The next you’re helping someone unpack unresolved emotional issues that happened five years ago.
“If you’re making me do emotional labor, I should be getting $150 an hour,” Meyers joked.
Again, fair.
Women Need to Stop Apologizing for Existing
Somewhere along the way, women got stuck apologizing for things that never required an apology in the first place.
Body hair.
Periods.
Boundaries.
Saying no.
Existing as an adult woman.
Yet, somehow the people sending unsolicited d*ck pics aren’t the ones feeling embarrassed. Interesting.
She laughed while describing moments where she’d apologized for things that were completely normal.
Things women are often conditioned to feel embarrassed about and things men rarely have to explain. Funny how that works.
“I’m a woman. I have one,” she said while discussing periods.
The simplicity of that statement made it land even harder.
Women spend so much time apologizing for being themselves.
Listening to Meyers talk about it felt like a reminder many of us probably needed. Not everything requires an apology.
Why This Show Matters Beyond the Laughs
The more we talked, the more obvious it became that Show Me Your D*ck is not really about unsolicited dick pics.
At least not entire. The photos are part of the story.
The real conversation is about how people are treated.
It’s about the way plus size women are often viewed before anyone takes the time to know them.
Meyers hopes audiences leave the show thinking differently.
Not just about fat women. About people in general.
“My stories are unique to me, but the morals of them are not unique at all,” she said. “Every fat woman has experienced some version of what I’m telling you.”
One thing I kept coming back to during our conversation was something Meyers said near the end of our interview.
“My stories are unique to me, but the morals of them are not unique at all.”
And honestly? A lie was not told.
Maybe you haven’t received the exact messages Meyers talks about in her show. Maybe your dating stories look completely different.
But if you’ve ever felt underestimated, fetishized or reduced to your body before someone took the time to get to know you, there’s a good chance parts of this conversation felt familiar.
That’s what makes the show work.
The audience may come for the outrageous stories and the comedy. What keeps them engaged is recognizing pieces of themselves in the experiences she’s sharing. What makes Meyers’ approach refreshing is that she isn’t sharing those stories from a place of shame.
She’s sharing them from a place of healing, using comedy as the vehicle.
Because sometimes you have to laugh at the pain to keep from putting someone in a headlock. At least, that’s how I’ve always interpreted the phrase.
That’s a pretty powerful combination.
Meyers may have built a show around unsolicited dick pics, but the conversations it sparks stretch far beyond anybody’s camera roll.
Between the laughs are conversations about dating, body image, desirability and the ways plus-size women are often treated both online and off.
Show Me Your D*ck: A Lifetime of Dating in a Larger Body continues its Hollywood Fringe Festival run on June 17 and June 27, with an additional performance scheduled for July 30 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles.
And if there’s one thing I learned after talking with Meyers, it’s this: the dick pics might get your attention, but it’s everything else she’ll have you thinking about on the drive home.
