Going to the doctor’s office is not number one on my list of favorite things to do. Because of this fact, I might drag my feet, just a little bit. But, when I finally make the appointment, I know I have to be mentally ready to actively advocate for myself. Learning how to advocate for yourself at the doctor is essential, especially when conversations are reduced to weight loss instead of addressing your actual health concerns!
Unfortunately, visiting the doctor can cause elevated levels of stress and anxiety. This is not only true for straight sized people, but plus-sized people as well. As a Black, plus size woman, I know all too well how racial bias, weight discrimination and fat phobia can impact my medical treatment. All of this is adding fuel to the fire, ramping up my anxiety ten fold.
In fact, there is even a term for the phenomenon of increased anxiety while at the doctor, it is called white coat syndrome/hypertension. According to Harvard Health Publishing, the name comes from the fact that traditionally, doctors wear white coats. In anticipation of seeing the “white coat” aka doctor, the patient experiences anxiety and stress. As a result, blood pressure spikes for patients while in the doctor’s office.
As if white coat syndrome isn’t enough, living in a plus size body means that I have to advocate for myself firmly and strategically while at the doctor’s office. I don’t want to leave without receiving proper care and knowing how to navigate the fat phobia, gender discrimination, racial bias and medical bias can help you receive the treatment you deserve.
Let’s talk about how to advocate for yourself while at the doctor’s office, especially when they only want to focus on weight loss.
How to Advocate for Yourself at the Doctor When Weight Is the Focus
Skip The Scale
This one may shock you, but I decline being weighed at the beginning of the appointment. Patients have the right to informed consent and can decline procedures that are not medically necessary, including being weighed in certain situations.
An article on Within, a treatment facility, shares a few ways to decline being weighed:
- Simply say “no” without explanation, they must honor your needs
- “I don’t want to be weighed unless it’s medically necessary. Please explain to me why this is medically necessary so I can provide informed consent.”
- “I decline being weighed today.”
- “Being weighed makes me uncomfortable so I am going to decline.”
- “No thank you, I don’t want to be weighed today.”
With practice, advocating for yourself at the doctor’s office will become easier and uncomfortable moments like declining to be weighed will soon become effortless.
Have A List Ready
A study published in Science Direct discussed how a patients’ lack of preparation before appointments hinders communication with the health care provider.
While in the doctor’s office, there is a lot happening and things can go pretty quickly. Having a list can be a good way to help you advocate for yourself, especially when the health care provider is only interested in conversations surrounding calorie restriction and more exercise. Here are a few things to remember:
- a list helps you stay organized: write down your symptoms and current medications
- a list keeps you focused: write down your questions for your doctor and how they pertain to your current medical needs
- bring a list of tracked patterns and occurrences for data and proof
- write down the phrase, “what tests would you run if I were a smaller patient”
Bring A Friend
Research published in BMC Geriatrics found that medical visit companions play crucial roles in advocating for patients, helping them understand treatment plans, and coordinating follow-up care. The study went on to say only 15% of patients remember information incorrectly or not at all, according to Select Dr., a medical blog.
Bringing a support person can help you recall important information during your visit as well as give you the courage to ask the important questions. Bringing a loved one is always helpful for me. It makes me feel safer having someone that I KNOW is in my corner. Remind your loved one to:
- ask for documentation
- take notes
- ask questions
- be supportive
Shop Around
Why continue to beat a dead horse? Sometimes finding your tribe and community is the best option. At the first sign of fat phobia, disinterest or dismissal of my concerns, I immediately discontinue (at MY earliest convenience) the service with that provider. I firmly remind the doctor that I am a paying customer and we are working collaboratively for the best interest of my health.
You can also look for Health at Every Size (HAES)-aligned providers or weight-neutral doctors who focus on overall health rather than weight alone.
I advocate for myself by pointing out the discrimination and plan accordingly. Full transparency here, finding a GOOD medically team is work! But, you deserve it, read reviews, ask for a referral and call around. You might be surprised to find a body positive provider in your area.
Red Flags to Watch for at the Doctor
Not every uncomfortable moment at the doctor is harmless. Sometimes, what feels “off” actually is. When conversations are overly focused on weight loss, it can lead to missed diagnoses, delayed care, and unnecessary frustration.
Here are a few red flags to pay attention to:
Your symptoms are dismissed without testing
If you bring up a concern and your provider immediately attributes it to your weight without ordering labs, imaging, or further evaluation, that is a red flag. You deserve a thorough investigation, not assumptions.
Weight loss is prescribed as the only solution
While weight may be one factor in overall health, it should not be the only recommendation for every issue. If your provider defaults to “lose weight” without discussing other treatments, options, or root causes, it may be time to push for more comprehensive care.
Your concerns are minimized or interrupted
If you feel rushed, talked over, or like your questions are being brushed aside, that is not quality care. You should feel heard, respected, and included in decisions about your body.
There is resistance to running tests or exploring alternatives
If you ask, “What tests would you run if I were a smaller patient?” and the answer changes or you’re met with hesitation, that is important information. Advocacy sometimes means asking the hard questions.
You leave feeling confused, dismissed, or unsupported
Trust your gut. If you consistently leave appointments feeling worse than when you arrived, it may be time to consider a new provider who aligns with your needs and respects your lived experience.
A Quick Reminder
Experiencing one of these doesn’t automatically mean your provider is “bad,” but patterns matter. You deserve care that is thorough, respectful, and rooted in your actual health concerns, not assumptions about your body.
Practice Makes Perfect
At the end of the day, advocating for yourself at the doctors takes practice. It is a skill that will only get better the more you do it. Learning how to advocate for yourself at the doctor takes practice, but it is one of the most powerful tools you have in protecting your health and ensuring you receive the care you deserve. So, hold your head high and remember, you are not alone. You got this!
This is not medical advice. Please consult a licensed healthcare professional for guidance specific to your health.
