TLC has come under fire many times before with its arguably exploitative shows of marginalized groups, and its continued questionable programming of fatphobia is set to debut this January. TLCโs new show Hot and Heavy is a limited series centered around โmixed-weightโ relationships looks to explore the lives of couples where one individual is significantly heavier than the other.
First things first, the phrase โmixed-weightโ is problematic as it appears to be used only to describe relationships between fat women and thinner-than-their-partner men.
Romantic comedy films have been featuring heavier set men paired with supermodel fit women for decades as the norm, and never once has it been referred to as โmixed-weight.โ
As the show has not yet aired, we are only able to speculate based on the advertised promotional materials, but the fact that womenโs body weights are being presented as a โrelationship problemโ reeks of the continual reinforcing of societal beauty standards on women.
ย A Few Problems with TLCโs New Show โHot & Heavyโ
While there may be plans in future seasons to feature otherwise, audiences are only being exposed to couples where the โheavyโ is a woman and the โhotโ is a man. The womanโs weight is presented as a hurdle each couple needed to overcome in order to achieve acceptance and happiness.
Their partners, all men of varying degrees of fit to slim, have soundbites like โI wouldnโt mind if she were a little biggerโ or โthere are a whole lot of inches to love.โ
These may sound endearing, but they immediately signal a fetishization red flag. It doesnโt seem as if this is a show attempting to normalize relationships between people of mixed weights, but rather continue to exploit the hardships fat folx experience just by existing.
It seems to be presenting couples in a way that perpetuates the unhealthy and false idea that fat people are undesirable, and itโs somehow surprising that a straight-size person could possibly love someone fat.
This is the same disgusting belief system that puts the lives of fat women in danger.
Society is quick to dismiss fat womenโs voices on things like cat calling or assault. The public en masse cannot understand how other people could find us attractive or worthy of love.
Hot and Heavy feels like itโs walking a dangerous line where one small bump will push it into the line of endorsing this sort of mentality.
With a title like Hot and Heavy, (implying that if youโre heavy youโre incapable of being hot) itโs difficult to have any semblance of hope that this show will be a good thing for differently sized couple representation.
Admittedly, watching the previews of this show hits a bit of a soft spot for me. My soon-to-be-wife is a 6โ3โ, slender, transgender woman. The fact that I am a foot shorter and a fat person is a constant source of judgement and speculation by society.
We endure comments from strangers and plenty of people who invalidate the legitimacy of our relationship because they cannot believe someone who looks like my fiance could ever love a fat person.
The problem with Hot and Heavy is not that itโs featuring couples of different weights, because we do exist. The showโs narrative is the issue. The message is that โthese couples make it work despite her weight.โ
A person needs to do some serious self reflection if they can only love their partner despite their fatness. Weight should not be something a partner learns to love.
Fat women are deserving of love, and not love that has to be learned.
