DJ Okay ladies this topic is personal…
Let’s talk about INITIATION!
I want to talk about women initiating sex! Now from my own experience, I’ve been with women that will and won’t. Let’s focus on the latter.
When I was dating my wife, we were active I mean very active, probably at least daily. And I initiated it all! It didn’t bother me at first but the longer we were together, the more I got curious. Why is it she never initiated sex?
So I asked her.
“Are you satisfied with me sexually?”
“Very much so” she replied.
“Why don’t you sometimes take the lead?” I asked.
“I don’t know, I’m just not comfortable” she said.
So I suggested once in a while she try it.
No luck.
Months would go by with nothing. Not a birthday surprise or anniversary romp, nada. So I’d mention it again. She would say “I don’t want to do it because you said to do it” I thought, huh? That’s why you do DO it. It confused me to no end.
Time passed and I asked again and she said she was self-conscious about her body and what I thought of her if she was aggressive. This confused the hell outta me cause during sex she was a monster!
Lol.
What I thought of her?
Whoa! You’re my wife. I love you, why would I think less of you for wanting me? I thought and said to her.
Her body was beautiful to me, so I was baffled.
I thought I made that clear with years of compliments and lust for her. But I digress.
Image by Stephanie Stewart Photography
I never realized how much her initiating sex, mattered to me. I didn’t want her dancing on the table or anything like that, I just wanted her to take the lead once in a while. I MEAN. Grab my hand and lead me to the bed, something!
As a man, taking control wasn’t hard for me, but sometimes I wanted to feel wanted too.
I’ve often wondered since then, how do you remedy this issue? Obviously by communication, but if that fails? How do you encourage that from your mate without pressuring her?
So ladies, this Valentine’s Day, let’s start with this:
OWN YOUR SEXY
Appreciate a man that wants you. Try small things first, soft kisses to the neck or maybe ask him to put lotion on you- anything to light the fire. For some of you, it will not be easy, but contrary to popular belief, a lot of us men like being wanted or at least feeling like we are wanted- just like you do.
We like when you own your sexy!
Image by Stephanie Stewart Photography
There is nothing more attractive than a woman knowing what she wants (especially if it’s us). I don’t know if you understand the complex-simplicity of us. We like to feel special! We like knowing if we satisfy you! We like hearing you want us!
And guess what? The more that you express yourself, the more that your confidence builds! Knowing that your lover finds you irresistible is a great feeling- one that we want to feel as well.
So ladies, if you know what your lover likes, wants, or needs, WHY NOT? If they love seeing you in that nightie- put on that sexy lace number.
If they go gaga over those stilettos hidden in the back of your closet, put them on.
If you know red is his favorite color, flaunt your curves in that sexy red dress!
Happy hunting err… Valentine’s Day!
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