There’s no question that dating has had an impact on people’s love lives. However, plus-size folks face a different set of challenges in the dating realm—pandemic or not. From fetishes to being someone’s “try-on,” plus-size people have different ways to worry about the people in their circle, and that rings truer especially now. The Curvy Fashionista spoke to three plus-size folks to unpack their dating experience in the pandemic.
Despite the world beginning to recover from everything, many are still in mourning having lost loved ones throughout. Adina Pejcinovic, a medical student, explains that the pandemic brought on “one of the darkest times” of her life.
“I lost a very close friend super early on, activating a severe fear of the outside world, which often made me stay inside even after some rules were changed,” she explains via email. “It was beyond tough for me academically, because I needed to be there in person, and we often spent days we would learn technical skills in person, to a new online environment. It was a super confusing, fearful, time.”
Pejcinovic admits that the pandemic changed the ways in which she approaches dating. For one, she says that she used to only date through friends of friends. However, she explains how the pandemic allowed her to use her voice on social media, opening the floodgates of comments under her posts.
“With everyone being bored, I would get messages and I started getting to know someone solely based on them commenting on one of my posts,” she says. “As of right now, I’m looking for someone to spend time with, a person who is grounded but who could still have fun.”
Unfortunately, Pejcinovic says that she hasn’t found the right group of people who share the same values. In her words, she’s still looking for “the perfect middle ground between guys who want marriage right away or guys who just want to hump and dump—quite literally.”
On the flip side, some people have found the pandemic to be a great time to spend with themselves. Plus-size fashion creator @glambykiki notes that it’s brought about more self-awareness.
“The pandemic has been such a great time to self-reflect with a sprinkle of self-care,” she explains. “While it did bring a roller coaster of emotions it has been such an eye-opening time, it has made me appreciate my loved ones more than ever.”
Opposed to dating apps, this creator has no room for DMs or digital get-downs. She says she notices how people are less likely to approach her in-person. Not to mention, Kiki talks about the inconsistencies of online dating.
“Dating apps are a definite no for me,” she explains. “I like meeting people the old fashion way, no one surpasses the ‘talking stage’ I either ghost or they ghost me.”
Social media manager Brie Bines notes that engaging with new people on apps can be draining. Plus, with social media being her nine-to-five gig, meeting folks IRL is a breath of fresh air.
“I was on Hinge, and it was okay, but talking to new people is exhausting,” she says. “I’m a social media manager for a living, so I end up dating people who don’t really have much of [an online] presence. Social media is already pretty surface level and deceitful as it is so I always find it refreshing when I date people who aren’t fully invested in it.”
Ironically though, Bines is finding love via social media after making a connection to the past.
“Funnily enough social media reconnected me to an old high school crush,” she gushes. “The pandemic really emphasized that life is short, so I went after what my 16-year-old self couldn’t.”
People from all walks of life are still trying to get a hang of the times we’re in. However, love for another or oneself—plus-size or not—isn’t being compromised even with a quarantine roadblock.
Have you been finding love (self-love or otherwise)? Are dating apps still useful or are you coming out to have Hot Girl Summer? Let us know in the comments!
