Welcome to another edition of Style & Scopes, your monthly plus size style horoscope!
Hello again, over these last few months I’ve had the pleasure of hitting some topics close to my heart. Your responses have been awesome! Thank you.
Today, I want to talk about honesty, sharing our thoughts about and with you, and when to express it. In relationships, we all want to be communicated with, told what’s going on and how you’re feeling but as a man, there is a fine line to that with you.
I never think that I’m being rude or insensitive when I’m being honest, I know the way you say things matter. How you say things and the tone in which you phrase your comments, but ladies, sometimes there is no win for us. Say my lady puts on a color eyeshadow I don’t like, how do I tell her that I don’t like it or it isn’t the best look on her? In a perfect world that would be easy, but perfect this world is not! How do you say a dress doesn’t look good on her without leaving her in tears hating you?
Expressing honesty is a difficult thing to navigate. One day I could say you had on too much makeup, and this doesn’t bother her in the slightest, and the next day I say I noticed a gray hair and now, I’m an insensitive jerk! Really? And women wonder why we keep our mouths shut. I know that pendulum swings both directions (we can be sensitive too) but we are focusing on you right now. Lol.
I can’t tell you how many times a woman has cooked something for me and when I said it was a bit salty or overcooked a bit I got attitude. If I didn’t say anything the next time she cooked that, it would be the same. Don’t I have that right to express that I do not like it? Or if asked my opinion on something and if it differed from her opinion, I am wrong and then being accused of not having her back.
Ladies, I pose these questions because men across the world need to know. Help us help you. I don’t have a problem being honest my problem is when to be and how much honesty to give. Us men are simple creatures in need of some guidance here.
How much honesty is too much? And how much is not enough? Tell me what you think ladies.
Looking forward to your responses
Of course I had to jump in real quick! I mean, DJ and I had been talking about this and I think it is great that this is his post, as I have a few thoughts. When it comes to relationships, communication, confidence in where you two are and where you are in this relationship is key. Trusting that your partner had your best interests at heart is so important here.
For me, I know I am or can be sensitive, but I also know I HATE grey areas- so give it to me straight up no chaser, and I will put on my big girl panties. Also, if my man prefers me in red or something a certain way, I have no problem rocking it for him. But this is only me, and I would prefer that he tells me I put too much salt in the food (maybe afterwards or next day) until we are uber serious then you know, another level of comfort is there.
I am not perfect and if I wanted him to wear that cologne he smells so delicious in, or the outfit he rocks or the hats that he always looks so scrumptious in, I will suggest it! If that top didnt go with his pants or shoes, or if I did not like it, depending on the mood, the occasion, or where we were headed, I mayyyyy suggest. I would also hope he did the same for me.
I think this is a mix of confidence, personal security, and comfort in where you are at in the relationship… an interesting mix of the three… but this is just me!