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NEW VIDEO: The Other F Word- Flattering
Flattering.
“That is sooooo flattering”
“You should wear items that flatter your shape”
“How do you flatter your body”
You have heard this word before in many of settings… And each time I hear or read it, it always makes me feel some kind of way. Most of the times when I do see it, it drips of disdain or judgment or a way to coerce someone to adhere to a set of “rules.”
It does have its benefits and I am on the fence with this word. Maybe I am too sensitive here, but I decided to talk this out in today’s latest video! Are you subscribed to my channel? No? Well, get to it! Here is a chance for us to chat like girlfriends (because in my head you all are) and talk about the randomness of life and plus size fashion!
Anywho, my video? Well, take a peek above and let’s talk this out:
The Other F Word- Flattering
My Outfit:
In the video, I am rocking the Igigi Dress that I did an outfit post on here! Check that out to get all of the details!
For those denim posts?
- Style 101: Your Plus Size Jeans Guide- The Fit and Style Guide
- All of my Jeans posts: All posts about plus size jeans and denim!
You see what I mean? I want to hear from you. Am I being too sensitive, does this word irk you? DO you think that this is used to coerce others to adhere to a specific ideal of what pretty or beauty is?
I know I cannot be alone here!
What do you think?
About the Author
Marie Denee
I am the Editor in Chic of The Curvy Fashionista. Often goofy. Forever emo. Always a Virgo. You can find me somewhere grooving to 90s R&B.
This should be called “The School of Marie” because it’s totally badass and everyone should enrol. I’m addicted.
!!! OMG heheh thank you much love!!!
PREACH! I love this, Marie!
Thank you sooooo much honey!!
I have a smaller waist to hip ratio and thighs. You mention one brand I believe it was pcig? I can’t find it, is it possible you share a link to their site please? Do you know if they work for shorter plus size women? I’m 5’1 and always always needs clothes to be taken in in length. Also have you tried KUT from the Kloth jeans? I love those!
I think it was PZI she mentioned
Chiming in to say the word itself doesn’t bother me…it’s the *tone* a person says it in that bothers me.
I just love my Pookie Bear Marie. I LOVE the VIDEOS. Keep up the good work:) MUAH>>>>>>>>>>.
To me, “flattering” is all about context and intent. If someone is trying to say that something enhances my complexion or hair or face, or emphasizes my shape in an especially attractive or eye-catching way, then I’m cool with that. But I’ve also seen it used as a way of dictating what plus size women should or shouldn’t wear according to the person who said it.
As for jeans: I’ve had trouble with jeans and pants pretty much my whole adult life. In women’s sizes (as opposed to misses), the rises have always been too high, the legs too long, the hips and butt and thighs are always huge on me. Then I discovered junior plus jeans this last summer, and they’re *perfect*. YMI is my favorite brand, so far (I was actually able to order some sight unseen and have them be just right!), but I also really like Deb’s own label, Reign, so far–at least for pants! I haven’t tried their jeans yet. I also have a pair I really like from Sizzle Jeans. So, if anyone else has had the same kinds of issues I have, don’t give up!
I meant to add one caveat to the jeans thing: Unfortunately, most of the companies I’ve found so far only go up to a 24. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t more out there going by the same type of fit!
For me it depends on who says it and the tone. Even a simple “you look great” can be condescending from the wrong person.
However I totally agree that there should be no rules about what looks good and what you should wear.
“Flattering,” the idea of wearing something to “flatter your shape” or is a “flattering color” on you is a very hard concept for me to give up. I try to support the “f–ck flattering” campaign and the idea that everyone should wear what s/he likes and is comfortable wearing; I bite my tongue and don’t say anything if I feel someone is wearing something that *I* don’t think is “flattering” on them. I try to remind myself that “flattering” is not the point, that people can wear whatever they like, whatever they’re physically, emotionally comfortable wearing, or maybe they’re trying something outside their comfort zone, trying to push some boundaries for themselves. …But when it comes to myself and how I put myself together, I can’t do it. I can’t give up the idea of “flattering.”
Maybe it’s because I’m too indoctrinated by Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear, or maybe it’s attached to my own personal issues about appearance and how they’re influenced by the rest of the world. While I agree with others’ assessment that Stacy and Clinton often tried to homogenize people’s looks on the show, I generally feel like they tried to take people’s individuality into account for the most part (certainly not all the time), and that in general, their ‘rules’ work. Most of them, at any rate. Some of them, I leave by the wayside. For myself, I don’t like wearing anything that I find “unflattering” on me. If I put an outfit together where one element feels out of place, doesn’t “look right,” doesn’t “flatter” me – whether it’s tops, bottoms, shoes, accessories, etc. – I change it. I work hard to create a look that I feel comfortable – both physically and emotionally – wearing, and that says something to the world about who I am and what I want the world to see.
So when it comes to myself, I have a VERY hard time saying “f–ck flattering” and throwing that concept to the wind.
I’m on the eternal hunt for the perfect pair of jeans so thanks for this post! Also, I HATE the word flattering – it’s often used
interchangeably for slimming, as in “not flattering” means not hiding
your fatness or making you look slimmer. Absolutely unneccesary and such a pet peeve of mine! I think the tone determines whether the intention is positive or negative, but it’s honestly not a word I’d choose to use.
xo
I think there are more intelligent ways to support people’s expression of style. This was a great video, I love all the pop culture references in it. I also think you hit on an important over arcing theme, your truth may not be everyone else’s truth. Something that should be to be a mantra for all of humanity. <3 aria