If you’ve ever walked into a meeting and felt like you were being evaluated before you even opened your mouth, you’re not imagining it.
The pause.
The scan.
The moment where your qualifications seem to take a backseat to how your body exists in the room.
For a lot of plus size women, that moment has a familiar name: executive presence or how we know it, the executive presence myth.
Before we side-eye it or blow it up entirely, let’s get clear on what executive presence actually is, because this is not a fictional problem and it is not based on vibes alone.
Executive presence is a leadership concept commonly used in corporate training, performance reviews, and promotion conversations. It is meant to describe how leaders are perceived in terms of credibility, confidence, communication, and authority. Research from Coqual, formerly the Center for Talent Innovation, breaks it into three components: gravitas, communication skills, and appearance.
On paper, that sounds fine. Leadership does require clarity, confidence, and trust.
The problem is not the idea of executive presence.
The problem is how it gets applied.
That is where the executive presence myth creeps in.
When Leadership Quietly Becomes About Looks
In theory, executive presence should be about how you lead. In practice, it often becomes shorthand for how closely someone aligns with an unspoken, outdated image of what leadership is supposed to look like.
Multiple studies show that decision-makers unconsciously associate appearance with competence, even when performance says otherwise. Research published by Harvard Business Review and the Journal of Applied Psychology confirms that body size influences perceptions of professionalism and leadership potential, despite zero evidence linking weight to leadership ability or job performance.
For plus size women, this means executive presence is often assessed through an extra, invisible filter. Studies on workplace weight bias consistently show that women with larger bodies are rated as less competent and less leadership-ready than straight-size peers with identical qualifications and outcomes.
Translation: the work is the same, the perception is not.
A System Built Without Us, Still Judging Us
Corporate leadership norms were shaped in rooms that were never designed with women, let alone plus size women, in mind. These standards reflect who historically held power and whose bodies were considered “neutral” or “professional.”
When women entered these spaces, they were expected to adapt to existing norms, not redefine them.
Meanwhile, research from McKinsey continues to show that diverse leadership teams outperform homogeneous ones financially and strategically.
So yes, companies say they value diversity. But when leadership is still filtered through appearance, the door only opens so wide.
How Bias Sneaks into Performance Reviews
This is where things get especially slippery.
Performance reviews love vague language. “Polish.” “Presence.” “Professionalism.” According to Harvard Business Review, subjective criteria like these create prime conditions for unconscious bias to thrive.
For plus size women, feedback about executive presence often comes without specifics or solutions. No clear expectations. No measurable goals. Just a sense that something about how you show up needs adjusting.
And somehow, that vague discomfort gets prioritized over actual results.
Let’s Talk About Clothes, Because They Always Do
Professional fashion has never been neutral. Plus size bodies have historically been underserved, overcharged, and under-designed when it comes to workwear. Even the fashion industry admits that plus size professional clothing remains an afterthought.
And that gap is not accidental. It is systemic. Which is exactly why The Curvy Fashionista exists.
TCF was built to provide, show, and highlight plus size professional clothing options that allow women to walk into work feeling capable, polished, and powerful without contorting themselves to fit outdated standards. We center style as a confidence tool, not a compliance test. Because when plus size women are supported with clothing that actually fits and reflects who they are, executive presence stops being about survival and starts being about showing up fully, confidently, and unapologetically.
Yet plus size women are still told to “dress for success,” as if the system ever dressed for us.
When the same outfit is labeled “sharp” on one body and “unprofessional” on another, that is not a styling issue. That is bias.
Confidence, But Make It Palatable
Research shows that assertive behavior in women is more likely to be interpreted negatively, especially when layered with appearance bias.
For plus size women, confidence is often recoded as arrogance. Directness becomes “too much.” Authority becomes “aggressive.”
It is an exhausting tightrope, and it has very little to do with leadership ability.
The Health Assumptions No One Should Be Making
One of the most damaging parts of the executive presence myth is the assumption that body size equals health risk, stamina issues, or lower commitment.
Hiring managers have admitted to avoiding candidates they perceive as overweight due to healthcare cost assumptions, despite medical research confirming that health cannot be determined by appearance.
Those assumptions are not only inaccurate, they actively derail careers.
Why “Just Lose Weight” Is Not a Career Strategy
Weight loss is not leadership development.
Long-term research shows that most intentional weight loss is not sustained, making body modification an unreliable and inappropriate professional expectation.
Careers are built on skills, strategy, and execution, not shrinking yourself into acceptability.
Progress Is Real, and It Has Receipts
Here is the hopeful part, and it is backed by action.
Organizations like NAAFA have spent decades pushing weight discrimination into public, legal, and workplace conversations. Their advocacy helped pave the way for a major win in 2023, when New York City added height and weight as protected characteristics under its Human Rights Law.
That means in New York City, it is now illegal to discriminate in hiring, pay, promotion, or workplace treatment based on body size.
Michigan has had statewide protections for years, and other cities are watching closely.
That is not symbolic progress. That is enforceable change.
Why Queen Latifah Took It to the Paycheck
Cultural pressure matters too, especially when it is paired with data.
Through her partnership with Novo Nordisk, Queen Latifah helped launch the It’s Bigger Than campaign, which shines a light on pay inequity and workplace bias experienced by plus size women.
The campaign reframes size discrimination as what it actually is: an economic issue. Plus size women earn less over their lifetimes, face fewer promotions, and experience reduced leadership access, even when education, experience, and performance are equal.
This is not about confidence.
This is about compensation.
By pushing the conversation toward money and power, the campaign forces organizations to confront the real cost of bias.
So, What Does “Defining Leadership on Your Own Terms” Actually Mean?
It does not mean ignoring feedback or opting out of growth.
It means grounding your leadership in outcomes, not optics.
It looks like:
- Prioritizing measurable results over vague critiques
- Setting boundaries around appearance-based feedback
- Leading with clarity, consistency, and emotional intelligence
- Choosing leadership styles rooted in collaboration and vision, not conformity
Research shows that transformational leadership styles, often practiced by women and marginalized leaders, are highly effective and linked to stronger team performance.
Defining leadership on your own terms is not about rebellion for rebellion’s sake. It is about refusing to disappear to make others comfortable.
Taking Up Space Is Not Unprofessional
Plus size women are constantly encouraged to shrink themselves, physically and metaphorically.
Speak less. Sit smaller. Apologize more.
None of that has anything to do with leadership.
Presence comes from contribution, not containment.
The Executive Presence Myth Ends Here
Your body is not a leadership flaw.
Your competence is not conditional.
And executive presence does not live in a dress size.
The executive presence myth survives because it benefits narrow pipelines of power. Dismantling it requires data, advocacy, visibility, and people willing to say, “No, actually, this is not a me problem.”
You belong in the room.
You earned your seat.
And your leadership speaks for itself.
