We have all been there. It is a busy Saturday, you are out running errands, and suddenly you turn a corner and come face to face with an old classmate from high school. You both smile, exchange greetings, and then, like clockwork, it happens. The comment about your body.
Maybe it is subtle. “Wow, you’ve gotten thicker.”
Maybe it is framed as surprise. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”
It’s why we are talking about body neutral compliments today, because we can feel the eyeroll.
No matter how off-the-cuff or well-intentioned it may seem, the principle is still the same. It is never okay to comment on someone’s body. Researchers and mental health experts note that even seemingly supportive comments about weight change can reinforce the idea that thinness equals beauty or success, and fuel unhealthy body image concerns.
“Complimenting someone for their weight loss suggests that their body, as it was before, wasn’t good enough…” Psychology Today.
For clarity, you never know what someone may be experiencing. They could be navigating illness, depression, grief, or food insecurity. Regardless of the reason, the goal should always be respect. That is where body neutral compliments come in.
Now that we are on the same page, let’s explore a few ways to compliment someone without centering weight or body size, also known as body neutral compliments.
Threads Are Always a Green Light
When in doubt, compliment the outfit. Clothing is almost always a safe entry point.
A simple, “How are you? It’s been such a long time. It’s great to see you. I love that dress, what’s the occasion?” opens the door to conversation without putting anyone on the spot. Complimenting someone’s style and ending with an open-ended question keeps things friendly, warm, and body neutral.
Accessories, Tattoos, and Piercings
Not everyone is a fashion expert, and many of us were raised not to lie. If praising an outfit feels risky, shift your focus to accessories or body art.
Earrings, bracelets, shoes, tattoos, and piercings are great conversation starters. Compliments rooted in personal taste feel thoughtful without drifting into commentary about someone’s body. A well-chosen accessory almost always reflects intention, and people love being noticed for that.
The Mane Attraction
Hair compliments are a classic for a reason. They are easy, genuine, and safe.
“I love that hair color on you,” or “Did you get a new haircut? That style really suits you,” are both solid examples of body neutral compliments. One quick reminder, though. Asking whether someone’s hair is real or if they have extensions is a hard no.
Charisma for the Gods
When style feels uncertain, personality never fails.
Complimenting someone’s humor, warmth, creativity, or confidence shifts the focus to who they are rather than how they look. Statements like, “It’s so good to see you, you’ve always had such a warm personality,” or “I was just thinking about how talented you are. Are you still singing?” create meaningful connection without touching appearance at all.
Accomplishments and Accolades
Recognizing achievements is always appropriate.
Graduating, starting a new job, getting engaged, buying a home, or earning an award are all moments worth celebrating. Compliments rooted in accomplishments honor effort and growth rather than physical appearance.
For example, “I heard you got accepted into that nursing program, congratulations. That must be so exciting,” invites conversation while keeping things respectful and affirming.
Bonus Round: What Not to Say
We have covered what works. Now let’s be clear about what does not. Here are a few examples of comments best left unsaid:
- “Wow, you look great. How much weight have you lost?”
- “You’re glowing, I hope it’s happy weight.”
- “Your freshman fifteen turned into twenty, but that face card never declines.”
- “When did you get your grown woman body?”
- “You look skinny today. I’m jealous.”
- “You’re pretty for a big girl.”
- “You carry your weight well.”
- “At least it went to the right places.”
Did you know that repeated weight-related comments, even intended as compliments, can contribute to negative body image, internalized stigma, and stress.
Last Thoughts on Giving Body Neutral Compliments
The Golden Rule still applies. If you do not have something kind and appropriate to say, it is okay to say nothing at all.
Compliments can be beautiful moments of connection, but they lose their power when they include unsolicited commentary about body size or weight. Intentional or not, body shaming and fat shaming are forms of bullying. Small changes in how we speak to one another can lead to meaningful shifts in how safe and respected people feel.
Body neutral compliments are not about saying less. They are about saying better.
