You want me??? Are you sure??
YES! Ladies, letโs sit down and talk about a very important topic; men and/or women being attracted to you.ย I remember the first time a person, one whom I never thought would be attracted to me, approached me.
I was with a group of my friends and was dressed to the T! I had my high heels on, and my hair and makeup were on point. We were laughing and drinking when this guy approached us.
He said โHeyโ to everyone, and made eye contact with me. He asked my name, and if Iโd like a drink.ย I literally thought he was talking to someone else, so not only did I lean to the side to be sure, but I also looked around to see who else he couldโve been talking to.
My friends laughed, and told me he was talking to me. The next sentence out of my mouth was, โAre you sure?โ He said, โI think so, unless youโre crazy.โ
Ladies the following questions should NEVERย be asked toย someone who is interested in you:
Have you ever been with a big girl?
Can you handle me?
Why do you like me?
Is this a joke?
Fat girls used to be considered easy targets, becauseย obviouslyย our bodies were ugly and it was often assumed that weย had low self-esteem and didnโt love ourselves. People are shocked when they see the stereotype of the low-self-esteem-having-fat-
Itโs time that all of us let those old insecurities go and get with the program! You can be considered fat and attractive to someone. Itโs not some farfetched idea.
Itโs the reality.
I remember having a conversation with one of my friends (letโs call her Pam) about her dating a plus-sized woman. She said she did it once, but never again.
When I asked if it have to do with the womanโs body, she said, no. It had more to do with her insecurities, and โfake confidence.โ
They met at a party, and the woman (letโs call her Gina) was literally the life of the party.ย ย Gina looked good, smelled great, and had the attitude of a size 4 model, which Pam was super attracted to.
They went on a few good dates, but after a while it got weird. Gina kept making fun of Pamโs previous skinny girlfriends. She kept asking Pam things like, โAre you sure you like me? Can you handle me? You know Iโm fat right?โ
At first, Pam didnโt mind, but after a while it became exhausting having to prove to Gina that she wanted to be there, and that she didnโt care about what everyone else thought about her larger frame.
You see where I am going with this?
What makes us attract such amazingly beautiful people, only to turn them down? Is itย because we feel itโs some kind of a high school joke? ย BUT, that is not the joke.
Maybe the joke is on those of us who haveย convinced ourselves and the world that we are NOT deserving of all these things we pineย for.
Things like being treated with respect and having a level playing field with our smaller counter parts in all facets of life, from fashion to dating. Maybe we really donโt think we are worthy of these things.
BUT, you ARE WORTHYย of these things!
As humans our tastes in everything changes. Our clothes change, our dreams change, our friends change.
Who we are attracted to throughout our lives change too. When I was a child I crushed on cartoon characters.
In my teen years I loved boy bands and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (judge me).ย ย Now at the awesome age of 28 (LOL) my taste in people is completely different.
So why would we find it hard to believe that someone who normally dates someone smaller, taller, bigger (or whatever you want to insert there), wouldnโt evolve too?ย ย Accept that theyโve found something theyโreย attracted to, in YOU!
About Essie:ย Born in New Jersey and raised in Orlando, Essie Golden moved to New York City to pursueย her dreams of fashion. In the midst of her career, Essie Golden has become a model, a body-positive advocate, and a trusted and respected voice within the plus size community. Learn more about and read more posts at GoldenKaleidoscope.com
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Come through, Essie! Youโre absolutely right! (And thank you for acknowledging we donโt all like boys. The concept is the same either way.)
YES. Didnt she bring it?!?! Loved this sooo much that I had to have her share it here!
Such a great article. I still struggle with that little insecure voice in my head when I start seeing someone. โDoes he really like me, even though Iโm a fat girl?โ I have my little moment, then I shake that off and remind myself that Iโm awesome and worthy of attention and love. Again, awesome read!
YES maโam. YES.
Essie this was a great read and well said.
Iโve been struggling with this. Thank you for the boost!
Found so much strength from reading this! Thank you!!!!
Great article! At the ripe old age of 52 Iโm just now beginning to accept myself as I am right now and live life to the fullest. It makes me happy to see the younger women getting this. We waste too much time not loving and accepting ourselves. Thank you!