Marie’s Note: A few weeks ago, I received an email from a really funny and witty woman, Wendy, who had been a long time reader of the site. SHe asked if she could bring her column to our site, especially for February to talk about plus size dating, online dating questions, and how to navigate it all. I was intrigued and my curiosity was definitely piqued!
Eagerly I accepted and wanted to bring a few new features to the site, with Wendy’s advice and Q &A Column to TCF! If you have a question, please reach out and send it through! All the details are at the end of the post!
Hi Wendy,
Even though I always check the BBW box on my profile, I’m not sure guys realize what they’re getting into because I photograph well. And I can’t bring myself to post the really bad full body pics. Help!
Tanya L. ~ Sacramento, CA
Photo Tips for Plus Size Online Dating
Hey Tanya,
I hear you. Don’t make the rookie mistake I did, though. I posted one body shot, and it was the best one I had. Except that, um…it wasn’t technically a “body shot” even though my whole body was showing. “Huh? How is this possible?” you wonder.
It was taken from a high angle (you know that trick). I sat on some steps, leaned forward, and crossed my legs so the camera missed the biggest part of my body: my belly.
Result: the photo showed off my great legs and fantastic cleavage. My middle just disappeared! It wasn’t a true representation of what I look like.
Don’t be me.
You’ve heard the term “catfish,” right? It’s when someone says they’re somebody they’re not online. Like a thirteen-year-old girl posing as an adult supermodel, or a bored fortysomething suburban dad claiming to be a hot, urban tech mogul.
You’re not catfishing when you use those photos, but you might be in danger of kittenfishing. And kittenfishing is worse for you than it is for them. It’s devastating to watch a stranger look you up and down with a long, lingering, head-to-toe sweep, then meet your gaze and frown at you. It’s super unpleasant. I don’t want that for you!
* This photo is a spectacularly good representation of a full-body shot.
There’s a big difference between posting bad shots and posting “artsy” shots. Is your big, beautiful butt wedged into a chair so you can’t see three quarters of it? That might be a little disingenuous of you—in other words, an artsy shot.
Are you standing against a wall, but you’ve got your feet positioned in a way that captures your curves better than if you were to stand straight? Yep, you can do that and still be real. The difference? The viewer can see where your curves start and where they end, where the big parts are and where the smaller parts are, offering up the whole picture of who you are physically.
Showcasing your assets can feel petty, but most guys can’t help the type of body they’re attracted to. It’s often the same for us. This means that you want to sort yourself out of the way of the men who don’t want to date you, so that you can focus on being all of your glorious self for the ones who do. And sister, you know those guys are out there looking for you.
So show yourself—all of yourself—at the best angle, and in the best light, and in clothes that do your body a favor, but don’t trick anyone with an art shot that lies about what you’ve got. I want you to see a broad smile on their face when you two meet.
What do you think? Do you have tips for how you take pictures for online dating? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
Have a question that you want to ask about plus size dating? Let us know and shoot Wendy your questions at ask@thecurvyfashionista.com!
