We’ve missed you.
For the past few months, we’ve been dreaming about new ways to reconnect—not just to give you fashion news and style inspo (you know we’ve got you there), but to open up space for deeper conversations that impact our community every single day.
Because let’s be real: being plus size in this world is more than just what we wear. It’s how we’re treated, how we carry ourselves. How much are we forced to carry?
That’s why we launched TCF Talks—a monthly live conversation series designed to hold space for the real, raw, unfiltered truths about living in a plus size body. And we knew we had to start with the conversation that’s been bubbling under the surface for far too long: our mental health. It was also a huge motivator for adding more plus size wellness content to the site!
Did you know?
- Research shows that higher-weight people are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and social isolation—not because of their weight, but because of weight stigma and discrimination.
- Plus size women, in particular, report twice the levels of workplace burnout compared to their straight-size peers due to added pressures to “prove” themselves and navigate bias.
- And across the board, fatigue and stress-related illness disproportionately affect marginalized bodies who are constantly asked to “be resilient” just to exist.
We couldn’t think of a better place to begin than with a collective check-in.
So on July 30th, we gathered the community, brought together an incredible panel, and pulled the curtain back on the myth of endless resilience.
And listen—what happened next? Whewwww, the room was on fire.
From mental exhaustion to emotional labor to what rest actually looks like in a plus-size body, our panel delivered honesty, softness, and ✨very necessary heat✨.
If you missed it (👀 why tho?), here are 10 real-deal takeaways from our very first episode:
“I’m Tired of Being Resilient: Fatigue, Burnout, and the Plus-Size Woman.”
Our Top 10 Takeaways from our debut TCF Talks:
1. Resilience isn’t a personality trait. It’s a survival mechanism.
“We learn resilience because the world doesn’t offer us softness. It’s not strength—it’s survival.”
— Marie Denee
Our moderator and founder @MarieDenee set the tone: Resilience may look noble, but for many of us, it’s what we were forced to build because nothing else was handed to us.
2. Burnout doesn’t always look like breakdown. Sometimes it’s just… silence.
“Sometimes burnout is your body whispering, ‘Please stop’—before it screams.”
— Dr. Rachel Millner
Dr. Millner broke down how chronic burnout in marginalized bodies often hides under “functioning.” If you’re showing up but numb? Yeah, that’s burnout too.
3. Disabled, fat, and femme? The pressure is tripled.
“People don’t want to see disabled fat joy. They want gratitude, apology, or hustle.”
— Carmina Suzanne
Carmina brought receipts, rage, and raw truth to the convo—especially on how the industry commodifies disability while erasing the real needs behind it.
4. Big & Tall doesn’t mean emotionally bulletproof.
“I can rock a suit on IG, but still feel like I can’t breathe inside it.”
— Nick Darden
Nick brought an often-missing male voice to the table—and reminded us that plus-size men also carry silent pressure, especially when vulnerability isn’t “manly.”
5. You can’t rest your way out of systemic harm—but you can reclaim your energy.
“Rest isn’t a fix. It’s a fight. It’s saying: I’m not letting the system use me up today.”
— Phaith Montoya
Phaith said what needed to be said. Rest isn’t just a bath bomb and a nap. It’s political, powerful, and required.
6. “No” is a full sentence.
Boundaries came up again and again. Whether it’s declining a Zoom, ignoring diet talk, or refusing to shrink (emotionally or physically), “no” might be your most powerful wellness tool.
7. Your softness is not a liability.
Marie said it best:
“I want to be seen in my softness, not just my strength.”
Enough with the Strong Black Woman trope. Enough with being everyone’s emotional pack mule. You deserve softness without proving anything.
8. You can’t heal in the same systems that harmed you.
Healthcare, fashion, workplace culture—we named names. And more importantly, we named the cost of trying to heal while still being unseen or dehumanized.
9. Real rest feels boring at first. That’s how you know it’s working.
Not performative rest. Not aesthetic rest. Just… stillness. Discomfort. Unlearning. A moment to sit with yourself without fixing anything.
10. You’re not alone. And you’re not dramatic.
Every head nod. Every “YESS.” Every “that’s me” in the chat.
That was community. That was validation.
And that’s why TCF Talks exists.
Want in next time?
This first episode of TCF Talks was a reminder of why we’re doing this. We started this series to reconnect with you—our community, our people—and to have the conversations that don’t get enough space in fashion or lifestyle media.
We opened with mental health because, truthfully, before we can talk style, success, or visibility, we have to talk about how we’re really doing. The truth is, as the study on weight stigma and mental health shows, living in a plus size body in a world that wasn’t built for us takes a toll—on our minds, our bodies, and our energy.
And judging by the chat, the DMs, and the whew, yes that’s me! moments during this talk, you felt that too.
This was just the beginning. We’re doing these TCF Talks every month—bringing in bold voices, opening real conversations, and holding space for us.
Next month’s topic:
“Fake Title Placeholder: Why Plus-Size Fashion Still Can’t Get it Together” (and yes, we might just keep that title because… facts).
Here’s how to stay connected:
- Join our email list so you never miss a live convo (and catch replays!)
- Follow us on social @thecurvyfashionista—we’ll keep the conversation going between episodes.
- Bring a friend next time. These talks hit differently when we show up together.
Because we’re not holding back here—we’re just holding space. And there’s always a seat saved for you.
See you at the next one.
