Not always so Confident

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Just one of those days, that a girl goes through…

Those days. Those moments. Those Feelings.

The days when personal attacks on our appearance, character, our very being can cause us to question our worth, our beauty, and our very existence.

Those days.

Where we feel ugly, unpretty, fat, overwhelmed, unloved, or lonely can at times be far from fleeting- yet can also be a varying reality. This has been an interesting moment of reflection for me as I navigate through my own personal life, sorting through it all. I have these moments, and as I try to shake these feelings, chat with my girls, its quite refreshing to know you are not alone in these fleeting moments…

Not always so confident

However, what prompted me to really sit down with you guys and talk about it was a combination of a few things that I have observed, feelings that I have had, and thoughts of navigating through it all.  I KNOW it is not easy being a woman, especially at times when society seems to find a reason to knock you down for every. little. thing. about your being. Maybe not even someone, sometimes we do this to ourselves. I have a habit of being way too hard on myself, not giving myself a break, or negating my feelings to appease or cater to others.

Especially as we head into the holidays, a time where we are supposed to be happy and joyful, there are moments where we feel overwhelmed with life’s demands and obligations- whether it be family, friends, or work! I have had a few of these moments and I have come to realize that this can be somewhat normal or understandable… But I have also learned that through this “noise” I need to turn it down a notch and just sit in my feelings… and realize that they are valid. I need not beat myself up, push myself to an edge (or emotional ledge), or feel guilty about it all… As I walk you through my emotional processes and thoughts, I wanted to know and hear from you.

While we make our way through all the noise that demands and dictates a specific standard of living, tell me how do you get through it all- even through those days where we are not so confident?

DO you fake it till you make it? Do you escape into music? DO you reach out to friends?

Rather than give solutions, I wanted to talk about it.

In times where you feel those moments of “not so confident” how do you deal?

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Written by Marie Denee

I am the Editor in Chic of The Curvy Fashionista. Often goofy. Forever emo. Always a Virgo. You can find me somewhere grooving to 90s R&B.

What do you think?


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  1. The way I handled it when it got too much was to isolate myself and I mean completely, I don’t recommend it. I felt like that for a period of months and every day being me was getting harder. I live alone and I just dropped all contact with friends, I felt they were pulling me down, truth is they wouldn’t have been able to if I hadn’t felt so low in the first place. Do I regret it? Sometimes but I wasn’t with the healthiest (psychologically) of people to be around and it was taking it’s toll on me I went from being bubbly and confident to being a depressed wreck. Ladies if these feelings last more than a day or two get them checked out it’s completely normal to have the blues and self doubt now and again but when it’s persistent it can heavily impact your life as it did mine. Don’t ever hesitate to shed the weight of abusive or judgemental people but also don’t forget to reach out because it’s alright to need others every now and then, no woman is an island!

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