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Monday Musings- It Was All a Dream

After returning from Blogalicious, hearing Amy Dubois’ story, and hearing YOUR comments, I wanted to start a weekly Monday morning conversation with you to talk about life and what it has inspired, motivated, or impacted us in ways that leave us scratching our heads. You asked about hearing more about me, my thoughts, life and story… After letting this marinate and wanting to give it to you in a fun and honest way, this is the best way I thought to do it. So today, I wanted to share with you my story.

It was all a dream

Friday the 13th, March 2009 is when this journey all started. After dedicating 5 years to this company, I lost my job. I was lied on, forced out, all at the time where the economy started seriously affecting retail and the workforce.

I was, as you could naturally guess- devastated.

I uprooted my life to come up to the bay to work for this brand and gave it 150% of my efforts, because that was how I was raised. Through the good and the bad, I hung in there…. But the universe had other plans for me.

I am a firm believer in Nothing Happening by Accident. You see, I would have NEVER left my job to pursue my dreams. While I had put into the universe and into effect plans beyond my comprehension, I knew there was something more to me than just retail and that managerial life. Starting my blog after I had just graduated with my MBA with hopes of one day owning a PHYSICAL boutique, I started my blog.

Dreams Road Sign

 

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Now, a blog at this time was not the glitzy and glamorous thing we see nowadays. Monetize? What was that? Making a living off of an online site? Never was a thought. I started my blog as a means to help me gather my thoughts, ideas, and resources to aid me with my next steps.

So once I lost my job? I went to work. And it was ugly. I did apply to quite a few places, all met with a no. Overqualified I was told. Siting with an MBA, would I really stay, I was asked. So I built my blog and fashioned a business plan.

I HUSTLED. I went more days and nights than not without groceries, linking up with my bestie up north, we gathered our food together to think of what meals we could eat… I had the noodles and peas; she had the tuna and carrots. Together, we had food for a week.

I prayed. I could not understand this fire burning inside me to create this space that we know today… but I believed and had faith. I knew that my dream I had when I was 11 or 12 was no accident or random. I realized that my dream was coming to life, but this road, would not be easy.

Nights I cried, scared and worried with how I was going to pay rent, my car note, my bills- I cried. I could only ask my family for help for so long. So I sold items from my house to make ends meet. My bedroom set sold, and I slept on my couch. I KNEW, that as an entrepreneur, THIS was my dues to pay.

Eventually, I lost my apartment, and with my tail between my legs, I came home to mom, in Rialto. Flocked with shame and guilt, I HUSTLED. I worked my ass off more than I could really tell you. Sacrificing relationships, my dating life, and at times my familial relationships, all for a dream and a fire inside to create what was living inside me.

In my mother’s house. I was forced back into childhood, in my mind. I felt that I failed. I teetered on the edge of depression, confusion, and defeat. I questioned myself if this life was worth all of this struggle. I couldn’t deal. So, I prayed. I prayed for clarity, I prayed for direction, and I prayed to relinquish my steps to be ordered by HIM.

Now? I am seeing the light, seeing the direction and the path HE has for me. My dream- is no longer that, but an end goal that was shared with me at a young age, that I was reminded of when I came home to my mother’s.

You see, I had forgotten all about this dream.

I was brought home to have doors opened to me, but only once I remembered this dream. Once I remembered this dream, how real it felt, and the tangibility of this dream, my fire was reignited. I HUSTLED. I did self-inventory and had to cleanse the negative thoughts.

Nothing happens by accident.

Since coming back to SoCal, the opportunities have been phenomenal and only that more motivating. With my dream in mind, what you see here on The Curvy Fashionista is a journey not only for you to take, but one for me that documents MY personal journey to make my dreams a reality.

And NOW, I am ready for this ride.

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream

What are your dreams? Do you fight them? Dismiss them? Chase them? Are you living them?

As The Curvy Fashionista editors, we write about stuff we love and we think you'll like too. The Curvy Fashionista often has affiliate partnerships, so we may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

Written by Marie Denee

I am the Editor in Chic of The Curvy Fashionista. Often goofy. Forever emo. Always a Virgo. You can find me somewhere grooving to 90s R&B.

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