Editor's Corner

Monday Musings: My Personal Style and Confidence Growth with Age

My Personal Style and Confidence growth with age

I must admit, as I set my feet firmly in my 30s, life has kind of rocked. A sense of awareness and freedom- the ability to not care and LIVE life to whatever fullest I can… All something I have realized and thought about, in regards to my age. Especially as it relates to my personal style.

When I stepped into my 30s two years ago, I was not afraid, timid, scared, or nervous about what it would feel like- although I will admit, my ideals of 30 were something wayyy different. I never thought about how my own personal confidence and style would reflect my inner comfort in such a way- and I love it.

I thought I was alone in these thoughts, until I asked you ladies on facebook, and ya’ll went IN and confirmed most of my feelings and if anything, left me only THAT much more inspired:

“If anything, mine has gotten more stylish and confident. That is partly because there is a better selection available now in plus sizes than there was years ago; also, I am earning more and can afford to indulge myself. But with changes in my life, I have grown more confident and assertive, and I think it shows.” Laura N. shares

“It’s become more of a totality of my experiences, travels, tastes. Life so far at 33 has developed me more into the woman I’m comfortable with being. She rocks. Lol,” Giovanna comments.

But, personal style and acceptance as a plus size woman, especially at this fabulous transition is sooo much more than that…

It is about celebrating who YOU are, who YOU want the world to see, being Unapologetically YOU. As Michelle shared, “My mind and heart have completely matured to a place where I fully accept my body. I no longer seek validation from society or friends and family about my size. I choose to wear everything that makes me feel purely feminine. I am a beautiful woman and my style evolved from “hide me”. To “see me! and love it!!” My style is confident, mature, sophisticated and I love it!”

For me, I have entered into a place of feeling HOT, Sassy, and playful. I love my leather, showing off the legs, and the curves. And some of you have even called me out on it! Thank you.

My Style: asos curve lace and denim shorts

Not only did this question I asked you on facebook inspire me, rewind to my last Monday Musings and this was under the surface. BUT, what jumped this into high gear? A poem that was shared to me by my fairy godmother, Lisa. She is as inspirational as she is amazing, and as a woman who just turned 50, she shared with me a fabulous poem, that I HAD to share with you today:

The Purple Hat

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can’t go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly”- but decides she’s going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she doesn’t have time to fix it, so she’s going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees “clean” and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees “I am” and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look.

Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

This poem, I thought was cute and perfectly timed and shared with me… especially as I come into my own personal groove… Learning to have more fun, give in to my inner wild child dying to come out and play. I am here for all of this. Self-exploration, with an open mind and heart can take you to some really cool places!

My Style: Silver Jeans Co. "Style Wars" West Coast vs. East Coast- Round 1

Being able to share with you and talk about this, I find to be quite cathartic and therapeutic for me as I reflect upon my own transitions!

So I leave you with this same question-

What about you? How has your own personal style and confidence changed with age? Let’s Talk about it!

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Dani Faust

    October 28, 2013 at 7:51 AM

    I need a makeover lol. My “personal style” if you can even call it that, is very…um…comfort-based. I know I need a revamp so I’m telling myself that after I pop this baby out and lose the baby weight I’ll give myself a makeover. I’m 32 and I love what I see when I look in the mirror…naked…but clothed I feel blah. LMAO

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 7:59 AM

      LOL Baby steps madame! Acknowledging where you are is also a great place to be! 🙂

  2. Felissa Mata

    October 28, 2013 at 8:51 AM

    I felt that way as well in my 30’s…and wore what I want…experimenting, and experiencing lots of hits and misses. Now as I’m in my 40’s, my personal style is much more defined, I’m more adventurous in choosing clothes, but I keep to certain rules, namely a flattering silhouette, colors that work with my complexion, and a hemline that will show off my legs…but not my unmentionables.

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 9:13 AM

      heheheh yes, but not your unmetionables! Love it!

  3. Nicole Longstreath

    October 28, 2013 at 9:01 AM

    Turning 30 gave me permission to be the person I’ve been all along. By 30, I figured, I’d finally earned the rights to all my mistakes and opinions. But turning 30, for me, also meant that I needed to get serious about style. I felt entitled to good clothes and a solid look – so I revamped my wardrobe. Best thing I ever did for myself.

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 9:12 AM

      Yes ma’am! You better own it!!!!

  4. Whitney 'Nic' James

    October 28, 2013 at 9:10 AM

    Love the poem, as well as the post. I feel that at my age, 27, I still have a few personal things I’m working on but for the most part, I love the woman I am becoming. I see (positive) changes in my confidence, as well as my personal style choices. I wear what I want and I make no excuses. I’m also a lot more aware of what looks good on my body. I think it’s important to wear what works for you, even if it’s not the latest trend. I must say that becoming more comfortable in my own skin has also made me more adventurous when dressing. Colors, dress/skirt lengths are a lot more fun to play with now! I must add that lately, I’ve also been a lot more adventurous with my hair choices. For me, that was a HUGE step because I can be very particular when it comes to hair. But I’m having fun and I’m getting to know more of what I like & don’t like. I’m at a fun and interesting point in life but I like it! 🙂

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 9:12 AM

      YEAHHHHHHHH See!!! This poem is sooooooooooooo true!!! 🙂

      • Whitney 'Nic' James

        October 28, 2013 at 9:16 AM

        I added the hair part in my comment and I have to say that once I followed your blog and saw your “big (pretty) hair”, I loved it! So yea, you definitely inspired me to try big curly hair! 🙂

      • Marie Denee

        October 28, 2013 at 9:18 AM

        Awww yeahhhhhhh… I am thinking I want to play with red and straight hair, feeling a big change up coming… LOL

  5. guyanesesista

    October 28, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    I’ll be 29 next month and already feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m excited to see what my 30’s will bring me. As my sense of style has evolved I have been throwing out my 20-something clothing little by little. I’m a hoarder & I can’t handle getting rid of everything all at once, too emotional.(lol) I’m able to express who I am in my new style and not care what others think, I’m stronger emotionally, I know more of what I want and won’t take less & I have NO time for people’s antics. I think the latter plays a big part in confidence because when you take less then you deserve and let people push you around, your confidence takes a beating.

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      Yes ma’am to all of this! Thank you sooo much for sharing your process and happy early welcome to the club!

      • guyanesesista

        October 30, 2013 at 11:48 AM

        Thanks for the early welcome. I have 2 more years till my age falls off the almanac. As we say in Guyana.lol

  6. Jay Miranda

    October 28, 2013 at 7:35 PM

    This was a wonderful post Marie and a subject definitely worth thinking about. Would be interesting to reevaluate one’s style every couple years.

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 7:43 PM

      !!!! Geeks out a little bit with your comment, heyyy new mommy of a gorge baby girl! Thank you for the kind words! It is something that definitely has been quite freeing… 🙂

  7. Becca

    October 28, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    Marie! This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately! In just the past couple of years I’ve become much more comfortable with actually wearing the clothes I want to wear. I’d put together all these great outfits in my head, but when I left the house, I’d still go with jeans and a shirt. I’m a little sad it’s taken me this long (6 months shy of my 40th birthday! YIKES!) but hey, any forward movement is good, right? 😉 Believing that I’m working towards who I want to be, instead of who everyone thinks I am is a powerful motivator.

    • Marie Denee

      October 28, 2013 at 10:08 PM

      YES ma’am to all of this comment!!!! XOXOXO Becca!!!

  8. yogordita

    October 29, 2013 at 3:26 AM

    What a nice post. I feel the same as Becca said, with age (and more confidence) i actually enjoy selecting and wearing the clothes i like (no mater what others think).
    I enjoy selecting my own style and wearing it with proud.

    I also recently started my own blog to talk about the same for my own Community (in spanish).
    http://aix0.com/guapasygorditas
    I hope with time i can express the same you did here.

    • Marie Denee

      October 29, 2013 at 11:55 AM

      Good luck and thank you for sharing! I am confident you will!

  9. Michelle Guerrero Denison

    October 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    I feel this so much! I’m almost 40 and just starting to truly feel good in my skin. I still care what I look like, of course, but it’s different now. I feel like I know who I am now. What I choose to wear or how I choose to wear it is more about me being myself than trying to alter peoples impression of who I might be. Age comes with wisdom and confidence if we’re lucky. I feel lucky. 🙂

    • Marie Denee

      October 29, 2013 at 11:55 AM

      Yeahhhh! This is sooo great to hear! 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

  10. zaskia

    January 26, 2016 at 12:14 PM

    I like how dressed and your style, I always envy with west people, you are really confident, otherwise in asia, we have to much rule, we all old fashion… nice for you

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