Finding the Things that Make You Feel Beautiful

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical” ~Sophia Loren

Simply Be Gok Wan Plus Size LingerieI was getting ready recently (as in this morning) and found myself doing the routine many of us struggle with when we’ve gained weight or there has been another change in our bodies – aging, illness, childbirth.  It’s different for everyone.  The routine where  I am worried about how another person will see me when I’m out.

Will they think I’m too fat?  Will they judge me because they haven’t seen me in a year and I look different?  Should I change my hair (to hide the fat that is)? What about this make up – is it too much?  Not enough?

Plus Size Woman Happy

I’m known for thinking everyone is beautiful in their own way.  I love taking photographs of people, still objects, industrial locations.  I’ve long said and believed if the photographer doesn’t find their subject beautiful (if photographing for that purpose), the rest of the world may not.  What we believe and our perspective about ourselves operates much in the same way.  We all have those days when everything falls together and we feel it and it shows in the way we present.  Then again, there are days we don’t, but something on the inside is flowing and people are attracted to us.  Beauty redefined.

Blogger Amanda Musings Loving Her Body

Many times, I think we base our self-worth on what others think.  A new guy, a group of friends, family,  a new social situation.  As much as most of us will  protest that we don’t I wouldn’t believe it for one minute.  We do care about what others think.  maybe not all of the masses (can’t please everyone), however there are always people we will want to respect us, think highly of us, tell us we’re beautiful (and believe it).  I also believe it’s what drives many of us to go to drastic measures to “find ourselves beautiful” so to speak.

Related:   Gotta Have It: Body Love: A Fat Activism Coloring Book

In the middle of getting ready, I had to check myself and wonder – what are you thinking?  While I may not be attractive to everyone, I really only need to be attractive to my partner.  It’s nice when others compliment you – but is that what you really need to feel beautiful?

Liz Black In Bathing Suit

At some point, we have to make peace with the things we consider our flaws and decide how we plan to deal with it.  As we change, what may have been a flaw to me last year, is now an asset for me.  Or maybe I have seen something changing that I wasn’t expecting to change so quickly (hello gray hairs!).   What I’m trying to say here is there is an art to finding yourself beautiful. 

There’s something magical about being able to say and know your flaws can be your assets.  About being able to be confident and in love with yourself despite the flaws.  When I struggle with my appearance or feeling beautiful, I tend to follow a certain routine.   I get a mani/pedi, have a massage, take a long walk and then make sure to keep my hair cut (it’s short these days) and wear a brilliant shade of lipstick.  It’s impressive what the simple things can do for me.  But mostly, it’s really about finding the things that make you feel beautiful.

I’d love to hear how you handle these days.  What makes you feel beautiful?  How do you handle the days when you don’t?


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Comments (09)

  1. well to be honest i have these days alot. I put on something I love to wear and i have a cup of coffee. I go to the people who I love to be around in the morning or get a text from them. it keeps me going. there is so much i dont like about me but slowly and surely i have and am learning to accept myself. not others ,me thats where it all starts. its not like i dont love me but in retrospect my stomach and arms and boobs bother me , is my butt big enough or things of that nature. sometimes i just say the hell with it and do what i want to do and thats the days i get the most comments its a great feeling.

  2. It’s such a tough thing to beat the down days. In those times, I try my best to look in the mirror and find one or two things I love about myself – my eyes, my smile…whatever happens to strike me that day – and then I focus on that instead of the negatives. I may wear more eye makeup, or a fun lipstick or lipgloss, or if I’m loving a particular part of my body, I’ll choose clothing to accentuate that part. To me it’s all about focusing on the good things. Great posting!

  3. Sometimes, I just have to roll with it. There are days when putting on an outfit that I know is adorable, or doing other physical changes just won’t snap me out of that funk. But I think there is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to have a day or two, here and there, to just let yourself feel like crap. This may seem like it isn’t a very positive outlook, but it helps me get through it. I know I will come out on the other side of it a little better and with a more genuine understanding of who I am and what makes me feel that way. Force feeding myself confidence and happiness has never worked well for me.
    On the other hand, depending on the severity of the funk, doing something different physically or emotionally can often help (cute outfit/great cup of coffee on the porch while staring at the mountains/doing something different with my makeup). Or just giving myself something to look forward to, like “I feel kinda gross/bored.unhappy today, so after work I am going to meet up with friends and go for a walk/drink/shopping/crafting session/movie night.”

  4. Really glad I read this.. I lost 6 stone (84lbs) in 6 months during 2012- very quickly, and in the wrong way. Inevitably, a lot of it has ‘crept’ back on. I’ve been feeling terrible about it for a while now- embarrassed to see anyone, embarrassed that I let myself put some weight back on. But, I’m slowly learning that as long as I’m healthy, there are more important things to worry about. My partner thinks I’m beautiful- what more do I need? Thank you <3

  5. I recently wrote a post similar to this on my blog, I struggle wit the same thing daily. I was overweight until I was 21; while in college I lost 100 pounds and developed an eating disorder (undereater and exercise bulimic). The stress that this caused on my body caught up to me and I have put on 30 pounds over the course of a year, which on my 5’2″ frame to me seems like much more.
    Through my struggles I have found SO many resources out there trying to de-bunk the media and show that all sizes are beautiful! The biggest help for me was digging in to find out who I am in Christ. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, to bring Him glory. When we begin to focus on how we look or what others think of us it is creating an idol of what be believe to be more important than THE MOST important thing, Christ and His glory.
    He did not die for me to be consumed with my body size, Christ died on that cross for so much more! He came to save each one of us, not the skinny ones or those who seem perfect or to have it all together – all of us. I lean on that and when I get down about my size, I look at myself and think about His plan to use me, no matter my size. God didn’t say, “go make disciples when you are skinnier” or “love your neighbor when you feel good about what you look like”

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