The Enabling of Self Loathers and Shame – A Brand’s Facebook Observation
My heart is heavy. Part of me is pissed, the other half of me is deeply saddened.
I have observed, through my blogging career a few types of plus size women:
- ·Those who love their curves, embrace them, and ooze confidence
- ·Those who are timid, curious, unsure and learning their way around the fashion scene
And then we have
- ·The plus size women who hate themselves and project their own self hatred onto others
- ·And then we those who foster this self loathing, negative spewing, and self destructive madness to happen.
Please bear with me, as I am quite impassioned and livid about this.
This is not the first time this has happened, NOT the first time THIS brand has allowed such a negative light to shine on plus size self expression, without stepping in and holding themselves or anyone else accountable…
Torrid Fashion, I am talking to you. The women who so openly bash and tear down women who love their curves, take fashion risks, and step out of their box and ooze confidence- I am talking to you.
But before I go there, I share this:
Everyone will not like everything someone wears, and this is okay. I know a few who have dismissed my personal boho laidback lifestyle and this is okay. To each their own.
BUT, I do have an issue when a brand features or shares a post of a plus size woman on their site, wearing their clothes, and opens the gates of destructive criticisms without moderating the comments. I do have an issue with plus size women tearing down (I mean this) a woman who chooses to express herself with confidence and moxie.
These are a few of the comments that were left on the page:
“WTF is that hot mess wearing?! Oh no honey she looks like a freakin super hero but thanks for the laugh!!”
Anybody having a Willy Wonka flash back? “You’re turning violet, Violet!”
Nipple is supposed to be mid way between shoulder and elbow… Undergarments are failing in this outfit. Belt needs to be wayyyyy thicker it’s getting lost. And I think it’s important to honestly critique an outfit because we may be saving someone from making the same tragic mistakes! #operationsaveahoe
Ppl who dress like that are asking for negative comments.. She might as well wear a bikini
What can you expect from Jersey white trash whose fav show is Family Guy? The dress looks great
shes not gorgeous shes obese and incredibly unhealthy looking. Find me a doctor that will say shes healthy –being unhealthy isn’t being a good role model. I’m in no way thin but this is not good.
I do not know who to be madder at, Torrid or the women sharing these comments!
Everyone has the right to their opinion, yes- HOWEVER…
Torrid has some MAJOR responsibility in this as well, like I said, this is not the first time they have featured someone on their page and let the commenters go to task on the woman featured. I am all for sharing someone’s self expression, but to not check those women whose comments can be destructive and ugly? I do not get it. What if this woman was fragile and read the comments and was affected by this negatively? Bullies are bullies and fostering an environment to allow this kind of behavior is despicable. Plain and simple.
AND the fact that few of the commenters asked Torrid where their moderation was? All for some damned page hits and visits?
When.will.this.stop? While we cannot control those women who do not love themselves and project their own self loathing onto others, we can hold the companies accountable for fostering this type of environment for this.
AND on another note, Tiffany from On the Fatwalk and Tiffany from Fat Shop a Holic, keep working it out and doing your thing. I commend you for taking risks, playing with looks that express your personal style and bringing a uniqueness to plus size fashion.
**steps off my soapbox**
Please share your thoughts…
Torrid issued an apology and adressed the issue:
We regularly share and repost blog posts and pics of fabulous women wearing our clothes and accessories. We do this in order to show off our clothes on real women with a variety of styles and points of view. What is extremely disappointing to us is that some people take this as an opportunity to viciously tear other fashionistas apart. People are by all means entitled to their own fashion opinion, but personal attacks are not welcome on our social sites. Our Facebook page is meant to be a place to share and discover fashion.
The Torrid Team
Thank you again…